100 Clever Sayings

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Clever words do not cost much, but they can accomplish much. Clever people are rare and they speak less, but the little words they speak makes much sound. Over the years we have gathered lots of clever sayings that means a lot and has changed so many lives. Here they are.

100 Amazing clever sayings

1. Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway

2. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

3. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

4. A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.

5. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

6. Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for the reputation.

7. If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

8. An American’s a person who isn’t afraid to criticize the president but is always polite to traffic cops.

9. If I love you, what business is it of yours? — Johann van Goethe

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. It is your concern when your neighbor’s wall is on fire.

12. Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.

13. It may look like I’m doing nothing, but I’m actively waiting for my problems to go away.

14. I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town.

15. Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby.

16. It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea.

17. The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

18. “Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

19. “The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music. ”

20. “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.”

21. “Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. ”

22. “War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left. ”

23. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. ”

24. “It’s good to be clever, but not to show it.”

25. “God is clever, but not dishonest.”

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26. “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. ”

27. “Clever people master life; the wise illuminate it and create fresh difficulties. ”

28. “To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.”

29. “Clever men are good, but they are not the best.”

30. “Clever people will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness.”

31. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

32. The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.

33. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

34. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

35. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

36. If you don’t pray in my school, I won’t think in your church.

37. You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do.

38. Love is like pi – natural, irrational, and very important.

39. life, n.: A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while

40. Love is staying up all night with a sick child, or a healthy adult.

41. The old believe everything, the middle- aged suspect everything, the young know everything

42. Delusions are often functional. A mother’s opinions about her children’s beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.

43. To appreciate heaven well, it’s good for a person to have some fifteen minutes of hell

44. Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed

45. War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.

46. It’s your god. They’re your rules. *You* go to hell.

47. I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way…so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness

48. If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

49. My god carries a hammer. Your god died nailed to a tree. Any questions?

50. Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

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More Amazing clever sayings

51. “Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.”

52. “You can’t be late until you show up.”

53. “Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway”

54. “Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.”

55. “A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.”

56. Evolutionists have proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof.

57. It isn’t homework unless it’s due tomorrow.

58. You never learn anything by doing it right.

59. “I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way…so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness ”

60. “Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them. ”

61. “If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?”

62. If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

63. A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station…

64. You can’t be late until you show up.

65. books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn’t pay..so if you keep reading, you’ll go broke

66. Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven’t sent one out.

67. As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.

68. Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.

69. “If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.”

70. “A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station… ”

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71. “My god carries a hammer. Your god died nailed to a tree. Any questions? ”

72. Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

73. A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.

74. Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.

75. Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

76. If you’re gonna go, go obnoxiously.

77. In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.

78. It’s amazing how nice people are to you when they know you’re going away.

79. I am erotic. You are kinky. They are perverts. We protect. Our allies enforce. Our enemies oppress. Congress appropriates. Microsoft lobbies. Citizens steal.

80. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

81. You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

82. Calling an engineer an applied scientist is like calling an artistic painter an applied pigment chemist.

83. “The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources ”

84. “Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn’t pay..so if you keep reading, you’ll go broke”

85. “A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it.”

86. “A clever man commits no minor blunders.”

87. “How clever you are, my dear! You never mean a single word you say.”

88. Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

89. George Bernard Shaw

90. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain

91. Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile. Albert Schweitzer

92. Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.Walter Kerr

93. Clever tyrants are never punished.Voltaire

94. The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a clever woman to manage a fool. Rudyard Kipling

95. So much interviewing these days is about the presenter – I’m a clever boy, I’m going to be smart with people; or it’s a trivial – how do you like your eggs boiled? Michael Parkinson

96. Clever liars give details, but the cleverest don’t. Anonymous

97. The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. W. C. Fields

98. I prefer players not to be too good or clever at other things. It means they concentrate on football. Bill Nicholson

99. To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. Nothing is often a good thing to say, and always a clever thing to say.Will Durant

100. You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions. Naguib Mahfouz

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