100+ Funny Black Jokes

This is just a joke and nothing serious attached, but as a black if you are reading it and you get offended you can always look for a white joke and hit back, but for now we are talking about some very funny black jokes that will crack you up

Funny Black People Jokes – Black Funny Jokes

1. What is the world’s biggest oxymoron. Black People.

2. What did the black girl say while having sex? Dad get off me your crushing my ciggies.

3. Why do black women where high heels? So their knuckles don’t drag.

4. What do they do with blacks after they die? Gut them and use them as wetsuits.

5. A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant.It’s called Nacho Mama.

6. Blacks took over Toys R us.The renamed it to We B toys.

7. What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA

8. What do you call one black on the moon? Problem. What do you call ten blacks on the moon? Problems. What do you call the entire black population on the moon? Problem solved.

9. Why do blacks smell? So blind people can hate them too.

10. How does a black chick tell if she’s pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

11. What do you call a black with no arms? Trustworthy.

12. Did you hear about Klu Klux Knievel?He tried to jump over 8 blacks with a steam roller.

13. What do you call a black guys condom? A duffel bag.

14. What do you call a black man in a tree? A branch manager.

15. What do you call a black man in Thailand? A tycoon.

16. Why do black women where high heels? So their knuckles don’t drag.

17. Why do blacks always have sex on their minds? Because of the pubic hair on their heads.

18. Why do blacks bury their dead upside down? To use them as bike racks.

19. Why do blacks keep their fly’s open? In case they have to count to eleven.

20. Do you know why so many blacks were killed in Vietnam?Because every time the sergeant said: “Get down!” they stood up and started dancing.

21. Have you ever seen a black person on the Jetsons?NO. Looks like a good future doesn’t it?

22. How can you tell when a black as been on your computer?It is not there.

23. How did the black girl know her mother was on the rag?Her brothers dick tasted funny.

24. How did they improve the transportation in Harlem?Moved the trees closer together.

25. How did they invent break dancing?Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.

26. What do u call 1,000 black people on a plane back to Africa? A good start.

27. Son asking father. Why are niggers so black daddy? Well son, whip this one while I think about it.

28. What do you call a black guy with a fan? Antique air conditioner.

29. Why is Stevey Wonder Smiling all the time? He doesn’t know he’s black.

30. Why don’t blacks like Tylenol? They have to pick cotton to get to them.

31. What do you call a black man in a tree? A branch manager.

32. Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

33. What word starts with “N” and ends with “R” that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

34. A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says “Show me it’s true what they say about black men”. So he stabs her and takes her purse.

35. Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The lights out, how can u count them?

36. A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. “Wow,” says the bartender. “That is really something. Where’d you get it?” “Africa,” says the parrot.

37. Q: What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile? A: A taxi.

38. In Africa, in a hospital, a black man entered armed – he had a knife on him – stick in his back!

39. How do you start a black parade? Roll a 40 down the street.

40. How do you starve a black man? Put his food stamps in his work boots.

41. How do you stop a black baby from crying? Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.

42. How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months.

43. How many blacks does it take to clean a toilet? None, it’s a woman’s job.

44. Is it better to be born black or gay? Black – because you don’t have to tell your folks.

45. What do u call a black priest? Holy shit

46. What did Lincoln say after his five day drunk?I freed whom.

47. What did the black girl say while having sex?Dad get off me your crushing my ciggies.

48. What did the black women get for getting an abortion?Fat cash from crime stoppers.

49. What did the white redneck say to his wife when she told him their black neighbors was coming over for Christmas?So much for a white Christmas this year!

50. How do you keep black people out of your back yard?Hang one in the front!!

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Funny Jokes About Black People – Funny Black Joke

51. How many black people does it take to pave a road?Depends on how heavy the roller is.

52. How many black people does it take to single a roof?Depends on how thin you slice um.

53. What’s the definition of black foreplay? Don’t scream or I’ll kill you.

54. How did they improve the transportation in Harlem? Moved the trees closer together.

55. What did the black women get for getting an abortion? Fat cash from crime stoppers.

56. Why are black peoples nostrils so big? Because that’s what God held them by when he was painting them.

57. What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea? A good start.

58. What travels at 200km’s a hour? A black man hearing a dollar drop to the ground.

59. What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A Basketball player.

60. Why are aspirins white? Because they work.

61. How did they invent break dancing? Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.

62. Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a whole graveyard!

63. How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Hang one in the front!

64. Why are black guys eyes red after sex? From the pepper spray.

65. How can you tell a black person is lying? His lips are moving.

66. Why is Stevie Wonder Smiling all the time? He doesn’t know he’s black.

67. What do you call a 80 year old black guy? Antique farm equipment.

68. How do they say “fuck you” in Los Angeles? Trust me.

69. How do you get a black man out of a tree? Cut the rope.

70. How do you get them down once they’re stuck? Tell Mexican kids they’re pinatas.

71. How do you know Adam and Eve weren’t black? Ever try and take a rib from a black.

72. How do you make a black nervous? Take him to an auction.

73. Why are black people like jelly beans?No one likes the black ones.

74. Why are black people so good at Basketball? Cause all you have to do is RUN … SHOOT … and STEAL

75. Why are black people so tall? Because their knee grows.

76. Why did God invent golf? So white people could dress up like blacks.

77. Why do black people wear hats covering their face? So the birds don’t shit on their lips.

78. What do you call a barn full of blacks? Farm equipment.

79. Why do blacks raise chickens? To teach their kids how to walk.

80. What’s the difference between a black and a white fairytale? White begins, “once upon a time,” black begins, “y’all motherfuckers ain’t gonna believe dis shit!”

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Black Jokes That Are Funny

81. A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

82. How do you make a black nervous? Take him to an auction.

83. What u call 10 black people in the back of a truck? A good days hunting.

84. What does NAACP stand for? National Association of Apes Called People.

85. George washington said “We would have a black president when pigs fly!” … well, swine flu.

86. How do you know Adam and Eve weren’t black? Ever try and take a rib from a black.

87. If I were a dog would you help me bury my bone?

88. Why do blacks raise chickens? To teach their kids how to walk.

89. Why did God create black men? So fat white girls could dance (and get laid).

90. How do you start a black parade? Roll a 40 down the street.

91. Why did God give Black guy’s big dicks? He felt sorry for putting pubes on their heads.

92. Did you hear about Ku Klux Knievel? He tried to jump over 8 blacks with a steam roller.

93. How do you get a black man out of a tree? Cut the rope.

94. What is the difference between a black and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

95. What’s the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

96. Why do blacks smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too.

97. Why do blacks wear white gloves? So they don’t bite their fingers eating tootsie rolls.

98. Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Negro out of their mouths

99. Why do you never hit a black on a bike? Because it is probably your bike.

100. Why don’t black kids jump on their beds? Because they’ll stick to the Velcro on the ceiling.

101. Why don’t blacks like blow jobs? They don’t like any jobs.

102. Why don’t blacks like Tylenol? They have to pick cotton to get to them.

103. What does a black person get for Christmas? Your bike.

104. Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?They’re going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.

105. Did you hear about the new black French restaurant?It’s called Chez What.

106. What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?You turn on the lights and shoot the black people stealing it.

107. What do you call 10,000 black people at the bottom of the sea?A good start.

108. What do you call a school bus full of black people?A rotten banana

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