130+ Funny Cat Jokes

Funny Cat Jokes2

Every now and then we all need a good joke to make us laugh. People love cats and they love having a cat at home. Cats can be hilarious and fun to be with, now why cant we just make a joke out of cat. Here we have a huge list of funny cat jokes.

Cat Jokes For Kids

1. Q: What is a cat’s favorite color? A: Purrr-ple

2. Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk

3. Q: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? A: Hailing’ taxi cabs!

4. Q: What song does a cat like best? A: Three Blind Mice.

5. Q: What game did the cat like to play with the mouse? A: Catch!

6. Q: Where did the school kittens go for their field trip? A: To the mewseum

7. Q: Have you ever seen a catfish? A: No. How did he hold the rod and reel?

8. Q: What state has a lot of cats and dogs? A: Petsylvania

9. Q: What kind of kitten works for the Red Cross? A: A first-aid Kit.

10. Q: Why did the cat go to medical school? A: To become a first aid kit

11. Q: Why are cats good at video games? A: Because they have nine lives!

12. Q: Why can’t a leopard hide? A: Because he’s always spotted!

13. Q. What do cats read in the morning? A. Mewspapers!

14. Q. There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. How many were left? A. None. They were all copy cats!

15. Q. What is a cat’s favourite color? A. Purrr-ple

16. Q. What game did the cat like to play with the mouse? A. Catch!

17. Q. Where did the school kittens go for their field trip? A. To the mewseum.

18. Q. What kind of cats like to go bowling? A. Alley cats!

19. Q. Why do cats make terrible story tellers?A. They only have one tail.

20. Q. What do cats eat for breakfast?A. Mice Crispies.

21. Q. Why did the cat run away from the tree?A. Because it was afraid of the bark!

22. Q. Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?A. Because he’s always spotted.

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Jokes About Cats

23. Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money? A: I’m paw!

24. Q: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? A: She had a litter of mittens.

25. Q: What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother’s sister? A: An aunt-eater!

26. Q: Who are cats going to vote for in November? A: Hillary Kitten.

27. Q: Why shouldn’t you kidnap the kitten, Keanu? A: Because curiousity killed the cat burglar.

28. Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? A: Kitty Perry

29. Q. How do you know when your cat’s done cleaning herself? A. She’s smoking a cigarette.

30. Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left? A: None, because they were copycats!

31. Q: What do you call a cat in a station wagon? A: A car-pet

32. Q: What do tigers wear in bed? A: Stripey pyjamas!

33. Q: Why did the cat wear a dress? A: She was feline fine.

34. Q: What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? A: The purrpatrator.

35. Q: How do you get a wet pussy? A: Put it in the shower.

36. Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

37. Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog? A: A terrified postman!

38. Q: What do you call a pile of kittens? A: a meowntain

39. Q: When is a lion not a lion? A: When he turns into his cage!

40. Q: What is a cat’s favorite color? A: Purrrple!

41. Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo? A: A stripey jumper!

42. Q: What do you get if you cross a chick with an alley cat? A: A peeping tom.

43. Q: What did the alien say to the cat? A: Take me to your litter.

44. Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar? A: A sourpuss!

45. Q: How are tigers like sergeants in the army? A: They both wear stripes!

46. Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep? A: A stripey sweater!

47. Q: Why is the desert lion everyone’s favorite at Christmas? A: Because he has sandy claws!

48. Q: Why don’t cats like online shopping? A: They prefer a cat-alogue.

49. Q: Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the fridge? A: Because it turns “ice” into “mice”!

50. Q: What is smarter than a talking cat? A: A spelling bee!

51. Q: Why was the cat sitting on the computer? A: To keep an eye on the mouse!

52. Q: What is the most breathless thing on television? A: The Pink Panter Show!

53. Q: What did the cat say when he lost his toys? A: You got to be kitten me.

54. Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? A: ‘Pleased to eat you.’!

55. Q: Do you want to hear a bad cat joke? A: Just kitten.

56. Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman? A: Frostbite!

57. Q: What is a French cat’s favorite pudding? A: Chocolate mousse!

58. Q: What looks like half a cat? A: The other half!

59. Q: What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? A: ‘Claws.’

60. Q: If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What’s a tiger? A: A stri-ped!

61. Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep? A: A stripey sweater!

62. Q: What do you call a cat that wears make up? A: Glamourpuss.

63. Q: What do cats like to read? A: Cat-alogues!

64. Q. What kind of sports car does a cat drive? A. A Furrari.

65. Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? A: ‘Pleased to eat you.’!

66. Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman? A: Frostbite!

67. Q: What do you get when you take a Kitty Kat to the tailor? A: Bad Blood.

68. Q: What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants? A: Purrr-suasive.

69. Q: What do you call a cat who just ate a duck? A: a duck-filled platy puss.

70. Q: What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? A: ‘Don’t go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.’

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Dead Cat Jokes – Fat Cat Jokes

71. Q: What is lion’s favorite food? A: Baked beings!

72. Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian? A: He felt funny!

73. Q: What’s striped and bouncy? A: A tiger on a pogo stick!

74. Q: Who was the most powerful cat in China? A: Chairman Miaow!

75. Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree? A: A cat-a-logue!

76. Q: What do you call a cat race? A: A meowathon.

77. Q: Why did the cat get pulled over by the police? A: Because it “littered”

78. Q: What is a cat’s favorite dance move? A: The Purr-colator.

79. Q: Why was the cat scared of the tree? A: Because of its bark.

80. Q: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? A: Hailing taxi cabs!

81. Q: How is cat food sold? A: Usually purr can!

82. Q: What is the cat’s favorite TV show? A: The evening mews!

83. Q: How can you get a set of teeth put in for free? A: Smack a lion!

84. Q: What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have? A: A catastrophe!

85. Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head? A: A tiger moth!

86. Q: What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food? A: ‘Let us prey.’

87. Q: When the cat’s away…..? A: The house smells better!

88. Q: What is a cats favorite vegetable? A: As-purr-agus.

89. Q: Did you know that cats designed the great pyramids of Giza? A: It was all drawn out on paw-pyrus.

90. Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a frog? A: A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!

91. Q: Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane? A: She let the cat out of the bag.

92. Q: What’s a cat’s favorite button on the tv remote? A: Paws

93. Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim? A: An octopuss!

94. Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross? A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

95. Why do you always find the cat in the last place you look? Because you stop looking after you find it.

96. If a cat can jump five feet high, then why can’t it jump through a three foot window? Because the window is closed.

97. What is a cat’s favourite movie? “The Sound of Mewsic.”

98. What does a cat that lives near the beach have in common with Christmas? Sandy Claws.

99. Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.

100. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.

101. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

102. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.

103. If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.

104. Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he’s in a bad mewd.

105. If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat? None! They were copy cats.

106. Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? For kitty littering.

107. Why did the litter of communist kittens become capitalists? Because they finally opened their eyes.

108. Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.

109. What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat? Hiss and Tell.

110. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cat? A big furry creature that purrs while it sits on your lap and squashes you.

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Chemistry Cat Jokes – Anti Joke Cat

111. What does a cat do when it gets mad? It has a hissy fit.

112. What do cats use to make coffee? A purrcolator.

113. What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck? A duck filled fatty puss.

114. What has more lives than a cat? A frog because it croaks every night.

115. What is a cat’s favourite subject in school? HISStory.

116. What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.

117. How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.

118. Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you? That depends on whether you’re a man or a mouse.

119. How does the cat get its own way? With friendly purrsuasion.

120. What is the cat’s favourite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.

121. What happened when the cat went to the flea circus? He stole the whole show!

122. What is a cat’s favourite colour? Purrrrrrrple!

123. Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? The retail store.

124. What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.

125. What’s happening when you hear “woof… splat… meow… splat?” It’s raining cats and dogs.

126. Why are cats such good singers? Because they’re very mewsical.

127. What do you call newborn kittens who keep getting passed from owner to owner? Chain litter.

128. Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!

129. How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.

130. What kind of cat will keep your grass short? A Lawn Meower.

131. Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats? Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.

132. What do you use to comb a cat? A catacomb.

133. What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew.

134. Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

135. What is a cat’s favourite song? Three Blind Mice.

136. Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t? Your lap.

137. Why did the cat put oil on the mouse? Because it squeaked.

138. What side of the cat has the most fur? The OUT-side.

139. What is a cat’s favourite car? The Catillac.

 

 

 

 

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