200+ Silly Jokes

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We all tell jokes, different kind of jokes and no matter how funny they are, we cant just get enough of them. Some of these jokes are strictly for adults while some are for everyone and we also have ones for kids.  This particular set of jokes has been termed silly, they might be silly but they are indeed very funny.

Funny Silly Jokes – Silly Jokes For Adults

1. Q: What goes up and down but does not move? A: Stairs

2. Q: Where should a 500 pound alien go? A: On a diet

3. Q: What did one toilet say to the other? A: You look a bit flushed.

4. Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: Because it was framed.

5. Q: What did one wall say to the other wall? A: I’ll meet you at the corner.

6. Q: What did the paper say to the pencil? A: Write on!

7. Q: How do you cure a headache? A: Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

8. Q: What has four wheels and flies? A: A garbage truck!

9. Q: What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive? A: A minnie van!

10. Q: Why don’t traffic lights ever go swimming? A: Because they take too long to change!

11. Q: Why did the man run around his bed? A: To catch up on his sleep!

12. Q: Why did the robber take a bath before he stole from the bank? A: He wanted to make a clean get away!

13. Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? A: I think I’m coming down with something!

14. Q: Why was the belt arrested? A: Because it held up some pants!

15. Q: Why was everyone so tired on April 1st? A: They had just finished a March of 31 days.

16. Q: Which hand is it better to write with? A: Neither, it’s best to write with a pen!

17. Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? A: Because then it would be a foot!

18. Q: What makes the calendar seem so popular? A: Because it has a lot of dates!

19. Q: Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space? A: He wanted to find Pluto!

20. Q: What is green and has yellow wheels? A: Grass…..I lied about the wheels!

21. Q: What is it that even the most careful person overlooks? A: Her nose!

22. Q: What do you call a boy named Lee that no one talks to? A: Lonely

23. Q: We’re you long in the hospital? A: No, I was the same size I am now!

24. Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? A: Because he was sitting on the deck!

25. Q: What did the laundryman say to the impatient customer? A: Keep your shirt on!

26. Q: What’s the difference between a TV and a newspaper? A: Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

27. Q: Did you hear about the robbery last night? A: Two clothes pins held up a pair of pants!

28. Q: Why do you go to bed every night? A: Because the bed won’t come to you!

29. Q: Why did Billy go out with a prune? A: Because he couldn’t find a date!

30. Q: Why do eskimos do their laundry in Tide? A: Because it’s too cold out-tide!

31. Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.

32. Q: Why do bicycles fall over? A: Because they are two-tired!

33. Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day? A: So they can fight knights!

34. Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up? A: Someday my prints will come!

35. Q: Why was the broom late? A: It over swept!

36. Q: What part of the car is the laziest? A: The wheels, because they are always tired!

37. Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: Stick with me and we will go places!

38. Q: What is blue and goes ding dong? A: An Avon lady at the North Pole!

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Silly Jokes For Kids

39. Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business!

40. Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta

41. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator

42. Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you’ll rise and shine!

43. Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?” A: “You can’t tuna fish.”

44. Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!

45. Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

46. Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she will Let it go.

47. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.

48. Q: What do lawyers wear to court? A: Lawsuits!

49. Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.

50. Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? A: Kitty Perry

51. Q: What did the pencile say to the other pencil? A: your looking sharp.

52. Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together!

53. Q: What is the most hardworking part of the eye? A: the pupil

54. Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

55. Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: Because it was framed.

56. Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

57. Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant? A: Swimming trunks.

58. Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom? A: At the BP station!

59. Q: What do you call a baby monkey? A: A Chimp off the old block.

60. Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away? A: A taxi driver.

61. Q: “How do you shoot a killer bee?” A: “With a bee bee gun.”

62. Q: How do you drown a Hipster? A: In the mainstream.

63. Q: How do you make holy water? A: Boil the hell out of it!

64. Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? A: It barked with de-light!

65. Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world? A: A stamp.

66. Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor? A: Because it had a virus!

67. Q: Why are frogs so happy? A: They eat whatever bugs them

68. Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A. Milk and quackers!

69. Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner? A: Man, that hit the “spot.”

70. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldozer!

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71. Q: What is the tallest building in the world? A: The library! It has the most stories!

72. Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A: A waist of time

73. Q: Why did the banana go to the Doctor? A: Because it was not peeling well

74. Q: Why is England the wettest country? A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!

75. Q: Why do fish live in salt water? A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!

76. Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A: He wanted cold hard cash!

77. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite.

78. Q: What is the best day to go to the beach? A: Sunday, of course!

79. Q: What bow can’t be tied? A: A rainbow!

80. Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline? A: Spring time.

81. Q: Where did the computer go to dance? A: To a disc-o.

82. Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed

83. Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.

84. Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital? A: To get a tweetment.

85. Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A: A Clausterphobic

86. Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? A: Ouch

87. Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend? A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.

88. Q: Why is a 2016 calendar more popular than a 2015 calendar? A: It has more dates.

89. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it’s over your head!

90. Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but no legs? A: A penny.

91. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? A: Because he had no-body to go with.

92. Q: How do crazy people go through the forest? A: They take the psycho path.

93. Q: What three candies can you find in every school? A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.

94. Q: Why are pirates called pirates? A: Cause they arrrrr.

95. Q: What do prisoners use to call each other? A: Cell phones.

96. Q: Where do snowmen keep their money? A: In snow banks.

97. Q: What washes up on very small beaches? A: Microwaves!

98. Q: What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move? A: The road!

99. Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? A: The scientists were brainstorming!

100. Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune? A: Because he couldn’t find a date!

101. Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? A: Hi Cliff!

102. Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent? A: Show me the honey!

103. Q: What do you call a funny mountain? A: hill-arious

104. Q: What did the candle say to the other candle? A: I’m going out tonight.

105. Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? A: Because he was sitting on the deck!

106. Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? A: (SUPPLIES!)

107. Q: Why did the traffic light turn red? A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

108. Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? A: I think I’m coming down with something!

109. Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game? A: I want a wii-match!

110. Q: What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers? A: the Telephone.

111. Q: How do you make an Octupus laugh? A: With ten-tickles

112. Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? A: Because then it would be a foot!

113. Q: What has four wheels and flies? A: A garbage truck!

114. Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? A: Post Office!

115. Q: What did the blanket say to the bed? A: Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!

116. Q: Why should you take a pencil to bed? A: To draw the curtains!

117. Q: How many books can you put in an empty backpack? A: One! After that its not empty!

118. Q: Did you hear they’re changing the flooring in daycare centers? A: They’re calling it infant-tile!

119. Q: What kind of button won’t unbutton? A: A bellybutton!

120. Q: What did the triangle say to the circle? A: Your pointless!

121. Q: Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!

122. Q: What dog keeps the best time? A: A watch dog.

123. Q: What did the man say to the wall? A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster ya!

124. Q: Why did the tomato turn red? A: It saw the salad dressing!

125. Q: Why do girls scouts sell cookies? A: They wanna make a sweet first impression.

126. Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A: It let out a little wine!

127. Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book? A: A crayon-berry

128. Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? A: Odor in the court.

129. Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? A: Dam!

130. Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? A: They don’t have the guts.

131. Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? A: SUPPLIES!

132. Q: Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? A: Because he was a paleontologist.

133. Q: Why was the student’s report card wet? A: It was below C level!

134. Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? A: Tentacles.

135. Q: What did the traffic light say to the car? A: Don’t look, I’m changing.

135. Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Nacho Cheese

Silly Short Jokes – Silly Sally Jokes

136. Q: How do you find a Princess? A: You follow the foot Prince.

137. Q: What streets do ghosts haunt? A: Dead ends!

138. Q: What did the penny say to the other penny? A: We make perfect cents.

139. Q: Why did the man with one hand cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop.

140. Q: Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? A: So he could have sweet dreams.

141. Q: Why did the robber take a bath? A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.

142. Q: What happens if life gives you melons? A: Your dyslexic

143. Q: What music are balloons scared of? A: Pop music

144. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist? A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

145. Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!

146. Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? A: Cool Music.

147. Q: What goes up when the rain comes down? A: An umbrella.

148. Q: Why did the belt go to jail? A: Because it held up a pair of pants!

149. Q: What happens if life gives you melons? A: Your dyslexic

150. Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: Stick with me and we will go places!

151. Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? A: Flood lights!

152. Q: Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school? A: Because they’re all in High School!

153. Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary? A: “Smiles”, because there is a mile between each “s”!

154. Q: Which month do soldiers hate most? A: The month of March!

155. Q: What did the painter say to the wall? A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster you!

156. Q: Why did the computer break up with the internet? A: There was no “Connection”.

157. Q: Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? A: In case they get a hole in one!

158. Q: Why can’t you take a nap during a race? A: Because if you snooze, you loose!

159. Q: Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? A: Because he wanted to work over-time!

160. Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? A: Because he wanted to see time fly!

161. Q: What do you call a book that’s about the brain? A: A mind reader.

162. Q: When do you stop at green and go at red? A: When you’re eating a watermelon!

163. Q: Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? A: Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo

164. Q: How did the farmer mend his pants? A: With cabbage patches!

165. Q: Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? A: He couldn’t concentrate!

166. Q: How do you repair a broken tomato? A: Tomato Paste!

167. Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry? A: Because his parents were in a jam!

168. Q: What was the Cat in the Hat looking for in the toilet? A: For thing one and thing two.

169. Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter? A: Patty!

170. Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? A: A deviled egg!

171. Q: What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving? A: A turkey!


Silly Knock Knock Jokes

178. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Butch, Jimmy and Joe. Butch, Jimmy, and Joe Who? Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and let’s Joe.

179. Knock Knock Who’s there? Opportunity. Don’t be silly – opportunity doesn’t knock twice!

180. Knock, Knock! Who’s There? Buster! Buster who? Buster Cherry! Is your daughter home?

181. Knock Knock Who’s there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to answer the door?

182. Knock knock! Who’s there? Dwayne! Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub, I’m drowning.

183. Knock, Knock! Who’s There? Dewey! Dewey who? Dewey have to use a condom?

184. Knock Knock Who’s There? Ahmed Ahmed who? Ahmed the payphone trying to call home. All of my change I spent on you.

185. Knock Knock Who’s There? Ben Hur Ben Hur who? Ben Hur over and give it to her doggy style!

186. Knock Knock Who’s There? Justin Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my @$$ !

187. Knock Knock Who’s there ! Ice cream ! Ice cream who ? Ice cream if you don’t let me in!

188. Knock Knock Who’s there? Alex! Alex who? Alex the questions round here!

189. Knock Knock Who’s there? Tunis! Tunis who? Tunis company, three’s a crowd!

190. Knock Knock Who’s there? Iran! Iran who? Iran over here to tell you this!

191. Knock Knock Who’s there? Daisy Daisy who? Daisy me rollin, they hatin

192. Knock Knock Who’s there? Urine Urine Who? URINEsecure don’t know what for

193. Knock Knock Who’s there? Old lady Old lady who? Wow I didn’t know you could yodel.

194. Knock Knock Who’s there? Doris! Doris who? Doris locked that’s why I am knocking!

195. Knock Knock. Who’s there? The guy who finished second. The guy who finished second who? Exactly.

196. Knock knock! Who’s there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.

197. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Dumbbell. Dumbbell who? Dumbbell doesn’t work so I had to knock!

198. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? A Pile-Up A Pile-Up Who? Ewwwwww

199. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Doctor Doctor who? That’s a great T.V. show, isn’t it?

200. Knock Knock Who’s there ? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes the Police come out with your hands up.

201. Knock knock Who’s there Gorilla Gorilla who Gorilla me a hamburger

202. Knock knock Who’s there Amish Amish Who? Awwww How sweet. I miss you too.

203. Knock knock Who’s there Ach! Ach who? Sounds like your coming down with a cold

204. Knock knock Who’s there Woo! Woo who? Don’t get too excited it’s just a knock knock joke.

205. Knock knock Who’s there Moustache! Moustache who? I moustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.


Quotes | Questions | Messages | Sayings | Jokes

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