What an individual see a joke might not be same for another, however the aim of every joke is to make one laugh but when one does not perceive it as a joke then the purpose is defeated and if care is not taken things might get out of hand, so we must be mindful of the jokes we tell. Hence we have selected here a very good set of funny jokes that everyone would love.
What Do You Call Jokes
1. Q: What do you call a funny mountain? A: hill-arious
2. Q: What goes up when the rain comes down? A: An umbrella.
3. Q: Why did the belt go to jail? A: Because it held up a pair of pants!
4. Q: Did you hear about the calendar thief? A: He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered
5. Q: What happens if life gives you melons? A: Your dyslexic
6. Q: What did one raindrop say to the other? A: Two’s company, three’s a cloud
7. Q: Why did the balloon burst? A: Because is saw a lolly pop
8. Q: Did you hear about the sick juggler? A: They say he couldnt stop throwing up!
9. Q: What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A: A screw driver
10. Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: Stick with me and we will go places!
11. Q: Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard? A: A barber.
12. Q: What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? A: Sherbet
13. Q: What do you call a dentist in the army? A: A drill sergeant
14. Q: What did the triangle say to the circle? A: Your pointless!
15. Q: Did you hear about the new Johnny Depp movie? A: It’s the one rated Arrrr!
16. Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? A: Because the cow has the utter.
17. Q: What’s easy to get into but hard to get out of? A: Trouble
18. Q: Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? A: The police are calling it an axe-i-dent.
19. Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A: Because the chicken joke wasn’t invented yet.
20. Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? A: Flood lights!
21. Q: Did you hear about the monster with five legs? A: His trousers fit him like a glove.
22. Q: Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school? A: Because they’re all in High School!
23. Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary? A: “Smiles”, because there is a mile between each “s”!
24. Q: What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine? A: it wooden go!
25. Q: Which month do soldiers hate most? A: The month of March!
26. Q: What did the painter say to the wall? A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster you!
27. Q: What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? A: A Frisbee.
28. Q: What did the M&M go to college? A: Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
29. Q: What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? A: Shadow.
30. Q: What kind of shorts do clouds wear? A: Thunderwear
31. Q: Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? A: In case they get a hole in one!
32. Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book? A: A crayon-berry
33. Q: What do you call a magician on a plane? A: A flying sorcerer!
34. Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: He wanted to get to the bottom.
35. Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A: A Mer-Maid
36. Q: Whens the best time to go to the dentist? A: Tooth-hurty
37. Q: What did one aspiring wig say to the other aspiring wig? A: I wanna get a head!
38. Q: Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? A: It was quite an oar deal.
39. Q: Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? A: Because he wanted to work over-time!
40. Q: Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? A: Because it runs through your jeans. What would you do if I stole a kiss? Call the Police
41. Q: What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry? A: Urgent Tina
42. Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
43. Q: When do you stop at green and go at red? A: When you’re eating a watermelon!
44. Q: What did the tailor think of her new job? A: It was sew sew.
45. Q: How did the farmer mend his pants? A: With cabbage patches!
46. Q: Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? A: He couldn’t concentrate!
47. Q: How do you repair a broken tomato? A: Tomato Paste!
48. Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry? A: Because his parents were in a jam!
49. Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter? A: Patty!
50. Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? A: A deviled egg!
What Do You Call A Jokes
51. Q: What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving? A: A turkey!
52. Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital? A: He felt crummy!
53. Q: Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? A: She couldn’t control her pupils!
54. Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A: A private tutor.
55. Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on? A: Bare-foot.
56. Q: What can you serve but never eat? A: A volleyball.
57. Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear? A: Sneakers.
58. Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? A: So he could tie the score.
59. Q: Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin? A: They both depend on the batter.
60. Q: What did the alien say to the garden? A: Take me to your weeder.
61. Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat? A: A heavy discussion.
62. Q: Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress? A: They got married in the spring.
63. Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? A: Because they cantaloupe.
64. Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? A: I better not tell you, it might spread.
65. Q: How do baseball players stay cool? A: They sit next to their fans.
66. Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because it had too many problems.
67. Q: What runs but doesn’t get anywhere? A: A refrigerator.
68. Q: What is an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer? A: The Space bar!
69. Q: Why was the robot mad? A: People kept pushing its buttons.
70. Q: What exam do young witches have to pass? A: A spell-ing test!
71. Q: What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs? A: A cloud!
72. Q: Why did the boy eat his homework? A: Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
73. Q: Why is Basketball such a messy sport? A: Because you dribble on the floor!
74. Q: How do you communicate with a fish? A: Drop him a line!
75. Q: Where do sheep go to get haircuts? A: To the Baa Baa shop!
76. Q: What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter? A: Jellyfish!
77. Q: What do cats eat for breakfast? A: Mice Crispies!
78. Q: Why can’t a leopard hide? A: Because he’s always spotted!
79. Q: What do you give a dog with a fever? A: Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
80. Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!
81. My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
82. What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.
83. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana.
84. What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? Wataaaaah!
85. The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
86. You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.
87. There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.
88. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.
89. Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”
90. Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.
Funny What Do You Call Jokes
91. A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
92. So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
93. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
94. A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
95. Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
96. Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.
97. Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!
98. Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!
100. What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.
101. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
102. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
103. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
104. I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
105. The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.
106. How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.
107. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
108. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
109. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
110. How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let’s go play on our bikes.
111. What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.
112. What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
113. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well known six offender.
114. What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.