Ever heard about redneck sayings, bet me they are not like any other sayings you are used to hearing, it goes way beyond that. The sayings might not make common sense, but a deeper thought will give you a deeper meaning. Rednecks are fun to be with, so also are their sayings fun to read or hear. Here are some examples of redneck sayings, enjoy and free free to share
100 Amazing RedneckSayings
1. He’s so deaf, he can’t hear himself fart.
2. If frogs had wings, they wouldn’t bump their asses when they land.
3. He’s so tight that his ass squeaks when he walks.
4. I’d like to have two of those coats. One to shit on, and the other to cover it up with.
5. Her jeans are so tight, you can see the veins in her ass!
6. if a frog had wings he wouldn’t bump his butt when he hops.
7. As poor as field mice.
8. Harder than a ministers prick.
9. Her behind looks like a couple of squirrels fightin’ over an acorn in a gunny sack.
10. That boy was shaking like a dog shittin’ hammer handles.
11. That truck couldn’t pull a spoon out of a cats ASS!
12. WHEN IT’S RAINING HARD YOU SAY….IT’S COMIN’ A TURD FLOATER!
13. She’s got an ass like a ford 9″.
14. I’d rather be in hell with a broken back than (fill in the blank).
15. I wouldn’t pay $50 to see a piss ant pull a freight train.
16. That means about as much to me as a strawberry up a bear’s butt.
17. That would tear the twist in the back of your crutch out.
18. Sis on you Pister, you ain’t so muckin’ fuch!
19. Why don’t you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut!
20. She’s faster than a striped assed ape.
21. Your mother’s so stupid, she thinks cheerios are donut seeds!
22. I’m so mad I could spit! (only ladies say this)
23. He jumped on that like a duck on a June bug.
24. That guy is as Nellie as pink ink with a voice that would chip paint.
25. your ugleir than a burning up donkey in the middle of winter
26. It’s colder than a nun’s c— on a ski slope.
27. That’s handier than a pocket on a shirt.
28. Back when men were men and women were proud of it.
29. You’re swingin’ like a wash woman.
30. Cornier than a corn field and half of its owner’s turds.
31. That feller’s so dumb, he don’t know sheep shit from cotton seed!
32. That’s lower than quail shit in a wagon rut!
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33. I’m hotter than a mess of collard greens on the back burner of a $4 stove.
34. That’s just like wiping your ass with a wagon wheel. There just ain’t no end to it.
35. I’m not going to let this turn into a jack-off contest.
36. He’s lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut.
37. It’s colder than a …bankers’ heart.
38. Don’t let your alligator mouth overload your mockingbird butt.
39. I have three speeds: on, off, and don’t push your luck.
40. You could give her Heaven and Earth – she’d still want a tater patch in hell.
41. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t wipe your friends on your saddle.
42. That boy ain’t the smartest peanut in the turd.
43. Riding in a car with a crazy driver…”I was chewin’ buttonholes.”
44. How are you driving? “I’m keepin’ her between the ditches.
45. harder than a wedding dick.
46. Busier than a one-armed paper hanger with jock itch.
47. Stuck tighter than snot on a hot oven door.
48. ‘Bout as useful as a prefabricated post hole.
49. If it were up to me, I’d take Heaven for the climate and Hell for the company.
50. Sure, drinking kills brain cells – but only the weak ones.
More Cool Redneck Sayings
51. If stupid could fly, you’d be a jet.
52. Slightly burned out, but still smokin’.
53. I’m mad enough to drown puppies.
54. Dead as iced catfish!
55. He’s as full of shit as a Christmas turkey.
56. He’s the meanest SOB ever to shit behind shoe leather.
57. That smells like the shithouse door on a shrimp boat.
58. That’s sharper than a mother-in-law’s tongue.
59. Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!
60. His gal is so fat they hire a rodeo clown to distract her when grocery shopping.
61. I’m hangin’ in there like loose teeth.
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62. He’s like a fart in a skillet. (Wound up.)
63. Well I’ll be dipped in shit and rolled in bread crumbs.
64. I feel like a bag of smashed assholes.
65. If your aunt had nuts she’d be your uncle.
66. Yer mouth runs like a boarding house toilet.
67. A gallant retreat is better than a bad stand.
68. High as giraffe nuts.
69. Five gallons of shit in a 2 gallon bucket.
70. Just ’cause the cat had ‘er kittens in the oven, don’t make ’em biscuits! (referring to Yankees coming down south).
71. She’s so skinny, she look’s like a gut with the shit slug out of it.
72. I’m having more fun than a tornado in a trailer park.
73. Boy you got about as much sense as god gave a goose
74. The only thing that separates you from White Trash is your rich husband!
75. Stick a paper umbrella up my butt and call me a hurricane.
76. If it can’t be cooked with bacon grease, it ain’t worth fixin’, let alone eatin’.
77. Her mouth is going like a bell clappin out of a goose’s ass.
78. I’ll be dipped in bacon fat, before I do that.
79. Candy is dandy but licker is quicker.
80. I’m hornier than a nine-dicked dawg in a kennel full o’ bitches!
81. Well, butter my biscuits!
82. Wild as a March hare.
83. You shouldn’t be huntin’ anything smarter than you. Try huntin’ worms.
84. Busier than a racoon in tall corn.
85. It’s hotter than 4 or 5 fat bitches in an Escort
86. I’d rather have a sister actively serving in a whore house than….
87. His family tree looks like a totem pole.
88. Her teeth are so bad, she could eat an apple through a picket fence.
89. I’m hotter than a tick on a dog’s balls.
90. He’s about as useless as a restrictor plate.
91. Busier than a cucumber in a women’s prison!
92. I’m so hungry my belly button is sticking out of my ass hole.
93. Well knock me down and steal my teeth!
94. He swapped legs with a jaybird and got cheated out o’ a butt
95. It’s hotter than a spanked baby’s ass out here
96. You can’t get blood from a turnip.
97. Well don’t just sit there like a knot on a log!
98. slicker than a bald tire semi on a mile of wet asphalt.
99. He’s slicker then the grease off a b-b-q biscuit.
100. faster than a bee stung stallion
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