Meeting someone and getting to know them can either be very fun or really awkward. The fun part may just be the excitement that comes when you meet a new person that you probably find interesting and wants to be friends with and the awkward part is finding the right words or questions to ask to help you in getting to know them well without pissing them off, annoying them or chasing them away from you.
The awkward part can easily be avoided if you choose fun and easy-going get to know you questions which can help fast-track the friendship and/or relationship forward because it lets you know as much as possible about an individual in a few minutes. In case you are wondering how to get started and what questions to ask, the whole essence of this article is to help you.
First Things First: Create A Friendlier Atmosphere With A Smile
Imagine someone meeting you for the first time or even the second time and the first thing they do is bombard you with a million questions in the bid to get to know you better; you probably feel a bit apprehensive like someone is trying to invade your privacy right? Well, that is the same way someone else may feel if you attempt going that way with them if you just met them. So, before going ahead to ask all the “getting to know you questions”, doing first things first like giving the fellow the warmest smile ever will not just make your new friend feel less apprehensive, a bit relaxed, but will also help you get acquainted with the person faster.
A smile is one of the first things you need to break the ice, ease tension, and create the friendliest atmosphere when attempting to know anyone. No matter the kind of relationship you seek with a person, you can never go wrong if you start off with the warmest smile.
A warm smile wouldn’t just spark up a connection but will also set the ball rolling for a conversation. So, the next time you want to initiate “a get to know you” session with a person, a smile may just be the way to begin.
Getting To Know You Questions Should Be Genuine Questions
One thing that will make the getting to know questions meaningful and serving their right purpose is when they are genuine questions and not some random boring puzzles that are meant to just keep the conversations going. So, don’t ask questions to keep your own end of a conversation going, ask genuine questions that you are interested in, that way, it won’t be difficult for you to hold on to the conversation for as long as possible, and to achieve this, keep the following tips in mind:
To Easily Get To Know Someone, Begin With Good Conversation Starters
After making your acquaintance feel relaxed, the next thing is to start with conversation starters. Conversation starters are that middle ground between small talk and getting to know you questions that are a little more personal. For example, asking a person what they did over the weekend, or what genre of music they love would help you to understand their interests and hobbies. Note, however, that conversation starters are not supposed to be very deep questions nor sound like an interview.
Examples of some other conversation starters are:
- Aside from TV/reading, what’s your favorite indoor activity?
- What was your favorite movie as a kid?
- Working on anything exciting lately?
- Are you a morning person or a night owl?
- If you could only eat at one restaurant for the rest of your life, which would it be?
Break Down Your Questions Into These Categories
Questions that get you to know people better and faster can actually be classified into five areas: likes, family, career, dreams, and values. With questions from these areas of life, you are sure to get to know all about a person in a jiffy. So, here are some questions to get you started.
Questions on Likes (Preferences)
According to a New York therapist, Rebecca Hendrix, “asking someone about their preferences helps you to understand who they are as a person” and this will help you in knowing what follow-up questions to ask and keeps the line of conversation open, interesting, and less boring.
Here are examples of preference questions:
1. What are your hobbies, and how did you get into them?
2. What’s your favorite way to spend a day off?
3. What was the last thing you read?
4. What was the best vacation you ever took and why?
Questions On Family
There is no doubt that one of the greatest ways to get to know someone on a more personal level is to know the people that matter so much to them. Talking about family and “asking questions about close relationships can lead to stories, and sharing stories leads to connection and an experience of being seen by one another” Hendrix says.
These questions can help set the ball rolling:
5. Were you close with your family growing up?
6. Who were you closest to growing up and why?
7. What was it like growing up as the youngest/oldest/middle/only child?
8. What’s your favorite family tradition?
Questions On Career
To help you get to know someone better, “facilitate a conversation where you are left knowing how they feel about their career,” Hendrix says. This, of course, is because no matter how a person feels about his or her job, the fact is, lots of people spend almost half of their life working.
You can try some of these questions:
9. What’s your favorite thing about your current job?
10. Do you think you’ll stay in your current gig for a while? Why or why not?
11. Are you more of a “work to live” or a “live to work” type of person?
12. Does your job make you feel happy and fulfilled? Why or why not?
Questions On Dreams
When you learn about someone’s dreams, you don’t just discover what they live for or what drives them but you get more personal with them. Jumpstart a deep conversation by asking this:
13. If you could do anything, besides what you’re doing now, what would you do?
14. What’s on your bucket list?
15. If you found out today was your last day on Earth, what would you do?
16. Do you think you’ll likely accomplish all your dreams?
Questions On Values
Learning about someone’s values equals knowing their true essence and there are no faster routes to knowing someone than through this path. Try these questions:
17. What is your definition of success?
18. What makes you feel at peace?
19. Do you live by any piece of advice or motto?
20. Which of your personality traits are you most proud of?
Revealing A Bit About Yourself Wouldn’t Be A Bad Idea
In getting to know someone, it wouldn’t be an entire awkward idea to let the person into your own space. We know you are a fantastic listener and up until now, you have done more of the question asking and all, you may just let down a little and allow the other person to also know a little about you. This way, the whole thing wouldn’t feel like an interview session and the other person would feel more relaxed and open up a lot more.
As wonderful as this sounds, here is a tip though:
- Try not to be too personal in your revelation that you make the other person uncomfortable, but don’t be afraid to push the limits a little bit.
- Be as open as the other person has also been with you.
What Other Things Can You Do To Know Someone Better?
Other than scheduling for a meeting, hooking up, and asking questions, there are other ways to can get to know someone better.
Follow Them On Social Media
Yeah, this isn’t the stone age where technology was backward, this is the 21st century, believe it or not, there is virtually nothing or anyone hidden from the eyes of technology, and thanks to the internet, you can actually connect with almost anyone through the social media. So, you can get to know anyone by connecting with them online.
Thus, by following someone on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter you get to see a side of them that you may not meet during face-to-face interactions and this is amazing.
Attend The Same Social Gatherings
This could be a concert, religious event, party, a hang out with a group of friends, charity or donation events, sporting events, etc. In this case, there are lots of other things you get to know about the person which they may not have let out during the question and answer session.