A Comprehensive Guide For How To Ask A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend

Asking a girl to be your girlfriend at first might seem something anyone can easily pull off. But, in reality, many people will find themselves hyperventilating, while some will even end up freaking out. This will no doubt ruin their chance/s with the girl in question and even cause them embarrassment. Be that as it may, with proper guidance, at the right place, and with the right words all outlined here, you can up your chances of winning her over the very moment you ask her to be your girlfriend.

Do These Before Asking Her To Be Your Girlfriend

It is tough to determine when is the right time to ask a girl out because one wrong move can blow all your chances. Having said this, it is not recommended that you ask her to be your girlfriend when you have just only recently met her. Though this might work for some people, for the vast majority of us, it rarely works. Try to do/observe the steps below first before popping the “will you be my girlfriend” question.

  1. Get To Know Her First

If you have just met her and are already thinking of asking her to be your girlfriend, you should ask yourself this basic question: What do you know about the girl? Try as much as you can to get to know who she really really is: her likes and dislikes, hobbies, zodiac sign, personality type, etc. With these, you will have an idea of who she is and how to approach her for subsequent discussions.

2. Have Conversations With Her

In getting to know her, you will spend a great deal of time conversing with her, during which you will get to know her. Such conversations can be in the park, while on a walk, at the coffee shop, or just any place where you both will have minimal distraction. You can also show some of your manly good qualities (like being humorous, having a good sense of fashion, etc.) because apparently, you might not be the only one asking her out at that time. Besides, no matter how unnecessary it might seem to be, you need to impress her to some extent.

3. Let Her Know You Like/Love Her

Ultimately you have come to that point when you know you truly like/love this girl you have been hanging out a lot with and have also gotten to know. But perhaps she doesn’t know what you want from her or even; the chances are that a couple of other guys might also show interest in her. To be on the safe side, give her a heads up on what your thoughts about her are; let her know you like or even love her and listen to what her response is. You may or may not ask her to be your girlfriend immediately.

How To Ask A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend

The Big Question And How To Ask It

You can either go simple or be creative with how you will ask her to be your girlfriend. Your choice should depend on who you have understood her to be; that is why we recommended that you first get to know who the girl is before asking her the big question. Some girls are content with a casual, simple “will you be my girlfriend” while having a walk in the park or sipping coffee at the coffee shop. To others, they might like it somewhat complicated with a bit of drama, almost as if it’s a marriage proposal. Whatever rocks her boat, here’s how to get a resounding yes!

1. The Casual Way

While together, you can start by having a conversation on any topic you are both interested in, compliment her contributions and admit how knowledgeable she is in the subject matter. This will make her relaxed and also boost her self morale. Generally, she will be at ease with you.

As your conversation progresses, drift to a more personal aspect by asking how she’s progressing with her work or study. You can also compliment her looks and zero in on how pretty she is and how much you admire her. In fact, you like/love her. You have come to the most nerve-wracking part of your conversation, where you will confess your feelings to her and then ask her to be your girlfriend. If she responds yes, then you have just landed yourself your dream girl.

Things To Consider

Though we have just easily walk you through how to ask this life-changing question, it doesn’t come as casual as it may seem. You still have to put a lot of work into preparing for that very day.

  • You should look good if not dressed to impress her (though not in a complicated way).
  • Be in the right place, which is somewhere ideally quiet where you both can concentrate with no distractions.
  • Study her mood and responses/contributions in your conversation and gradually drive the conversation into more personal topics before shooting your shot.

2. The Romantic Way

To win her over using this approach, you should position yourself as a boyfriend already before asking her to be your girlfriend. Call and check up on her as often as it is typical with boyfriends and girlfriends, but at the same time, don’t allow her to friend zone you. You can avoid this friend-zoning by letting her know you both are not friends but, in fact, more than friends.

You can start her day by sending her sweet good morning messages, spend time with her as often as possible, get her gifts, find out what she loves doing and spend time doing it with her, and in doing all these, make her realize that you are the perfect man for her. If your emotions are in sync, the chances are that she might even ask about being properly recognized as your girlfriend before you ask her to be yours.

Things To Consider

However, though this method often works for most would-be couples. There are still chances that she might not be seeing you as a potential boyfriend despite all your efforts. This is especially so with girls that are used to receiving romantic gestures from guys. Be that as it may, your chances of winning her over will be greatly improved if you do these:

  • Avoid intimacy until you are sure she wants to be intimate with you.
  • Don’t expect her to reciprocate all your boyfriend gestures as a girlfriend all too soon.
  • Please don’t overdo it. Remember she might not catch the gist and thus isn’t seeing you as her boyfriend. So apply moderation and know when to do what.

3. The Friendly Way

The friendly approach to asking a girl to be your girlfriend offers leeway to guys who can’t go the casual way and/or are too shy to act out their heart desires in a romantic way. Approaching a girl in a friendly manner with plans of asking her to be your girlfriend might seem to be time-consuming for some people. Still, for others, the possibility of getting a certain “yes” makes whatever time it took them to work their way into a girl’s heart worth the wait.

It is also good to note that this approach to asking a girl works almost like the other approaches, but the underlying difference is that it doesn’t readily project the guy as someone having something in his mind for the lady.

You can get started by first becoming her friend, learning about her friends and family, and likes and dislikes. Then progress to spending more time with her, it can be at the park, coffee shop, or just any place with little or no distraction. You can also get her gifts but be very thoughtful about the choice of gifts you get her. It can even be small, inexpensive gifts but at the same time should be something she would love and would make her remember you anytime she looks at the gift. Finally, you should let her know you admire her, enjoy her company, and would love her to be your girlfriend.

Things To Consider

This is one of the easiest ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend and a very lengthy approach. It works best for people who regularly contact each other, like students on the same campus, people who work in the same organization, etc.

  • Be sure she likes you too before taking this long route.
  • There’s a huge risk of getting friend-zoned while you work your way into her heart.
  • If she has an inkling you’re up to something, you should let her know your intentions.

How To Ask A Girl To Be Your Girlfriend

Which Approach Will Work Best For You?

The three main approaches we have discussed above for asking a girl to be your girlfriend seek to get one response: a resounding “yes; I will be your girlfriend.” However, they will achieve this aim via different means and at different lengths of time. What works for someone might not work for the other.

Therefore, it is imperative that you first understand who the girl you want to ask out is and know what might work best for her. Also, the environment where you met her can play a huge role in how you will approach her and ultimately ask her out. For a girl you often meet, using the casual or friendly approach might do the magic for you.

Avoid These Questions If You Want Her As Your Girlfriend

The chances are that you might not be the first person to have asked her out, to those she said no to, she might have her reason/s, but the essence of your reading this piece is to avoid falling into that category of people. Some things can come off offensive to her, even though they might not seem so to you. Avoid them!

  • How much do you weigh?
  • Why are you still single?
  • How many boyfriends have you had?
  • How many people have you slept with?
  • Do you have friends that might be interested in a threesome?
  • Are you seeing someone else?

These questions should be totally avoided if you want to land a chance to have that girl as your girlfriend. Even if you have your reasons for asking some of these questions, they shouldn’t be asked when you are just getting to know her. Worst still, some of them are outrightly sexist and will give a sexist impression of your intentions is you ask them.

How To Deal With Rejection If She Says No To Being Your Girlfriend

Yes, no matter how thorough your preparation was and/or how well you thought you knew her and how to sweep her off her feet, the chances are that it might not turn out the way you had expected it. This could be attributed to different factors, some of which you have no control over. Also, her saying no to you might, in essence, make you a better person than you were when you met her if you do the following:

  • Her rejection is just a refusal to date you.
  • It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are undatable.
  • Find out her reason/s for rejecting you if she’s willing to tell you.
  • Don’t be afraid to grieve; let it all out when you’re alone.
  • Spend time with other people but don’t talk bad about her.
  • Keep yourself busy by pursuing personal interests.
  • Have an active lifestyle if you don’t have one already.
  • Open yourself to the possibility of meeting new people.
  • Don’t hold grudges if you happen to run into her someday. Smile, exchange greetings and move on.

Above all, you should have a positive mindset if she turns your request down. The truth is, it will hurt when a girl you have feelings for say no to you, and it’s self-deception to console yourself with popular cliches like “there are many fishes in the ocean” and others.

But if you have religiously followed the guidelines outlined above, the chances are that she won’t turn you down, not out of pity, but she will accept you out of shared admiration and the love she has for you.

Fact Check: We strive for accuracy and fairness, if you've found a possible error, be it factual, editorial or something that needs updating, please contact us
Chuck Valdez
Chuck Valdez
Chuck has been writing or editing for several major websites and publications for over 16 years. The opportunity that writing provides as an avenue to access and share knowledge is what inspires him the most

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