Deadpool quotes? Ever watched the American trailer called Deadpool? It’s one of the X-Men series. The blockbuster is absolutely jam-packed with hilarious one-liners that have been causing audiences to practically fall out of their seats laughing.

Deadpool quotes are incredibly funny, cheeky, self-aware and even romantic with Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool) knocking it out of the park. If you don’t mind the violence and witless language then it’s likely that you’ll enjoy this.

His clever quips, hilarious references, and witty fourth wall breaking comments made him one of the most likable superheroes to millions of people overnight.

We’ve gathered some of the hilarious and funniest Deadpool quotes from the trailer that will keep you laughing and rolling on the floor. Hey! Watch it, try not to leave something on fire to avoid getting burnt. Continue reading and enjoy yourself.

Below you’d see Deadpool quotes, funniest quotes and also Deadpool love quotes.

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Deadpool Movie Quotes

deadpool quotes

1. “Listen, the day I decide to become a crime-fighting shit swizzler who rooms with ava bunch of other little whiners at the Neverland Mansion of some creepy, old, bald, Heaven’s Gate-looking motherfucker… on that day, I’ll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request!”

2. “Blind Al: Looks aren’t everything.”

Deadpool: Looks ARE everything! Ever heard Dave Beckham speak? It’s like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on a superior acting method?”

Blind Al: Love is blind, Wade.”
Deadpool: No. You’re blind.”

3. “You’re probably thinking, “My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kebab!” Well, I may be super, but I’m no hero. And yeah, technically, this is a murder. But some of the best love stories start with a murder. And that’s exactly what this is, a love story. And to tell it right… I gotta take you back to long before I squeezed this ass into red spandex.”

4. “Deadpool: Here, check it out. She’s sending away for all these colorful clinic brochures. I’m sure they’re all FDA approved. Chechnya, isn’t that where you go to get cancer? You got China and Central Mexico. You know how they say “cancer” in Spanish?”

Weasel: No.”
Wade Wilson: El cancer.”

5. “I didn’t just get the cure to el cancer, I got the cure to el everything.”

6. “There’s no easy way to say this… I’m pregnant, Trevor!”

7. “Oh, hello there! I bet you’re wondering, why the red suit? Well, that’s so bad guys can’t see me bleed!”

8. “You look familiar, did I spin you like a beanie propeller and leave you in a motel room in Dubuque?”

9. “Sorry, I use humor to deflect my insecurities. Plus, I’m hilarious, so don’t hate.”

10. “Yeah. That is a gun in my pants. But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy to see you…”

11. I didn’t ask to be super, and I’m no hero. But when you find out your worst enemy is after your best girl, the time has come to be a fucking superhero.”

12. “Wow, this is such a big house, but I only ever see the two of you here. It’s like the studio didn’t have enough money for any more X-Men…”

13. “I know right? You’re probably thinking “Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie”? I can’t tell you his name, but it rhymes with ‘pullverine.’ [In an Australian accent] And lemme tell you, he’s got a nice pair of smooth criminals down under.”

14. “Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret!”

15. “You can’t buy love, but you can rent it for three minutes!”

16. “Okay guys, I only have twelve bullets, so you’re all going to have to share!”

17. “Listen, Al, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1,600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the apartment – right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck.”

18. “I want to die a natural death at the age of 102 – like the city of Detroit.”

19. “Here’s the thing, Life is an endless series of train wrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness. This had been the ultimate commercial break. Which meant it was time to return to our regularly scheduled programming.”

20. “Four or five moments – that’s all it takes to become a hero. Everyone thinks it’s a full-time job. Wake up a hero. Brush your teeth a hero. Go to work a hero. Not true. Over a lifetime there are only four or five moments that really matter. Moments when you’re offered a choice to make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, save a friend – spare an enemy. In these moments everything else falls away…”

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Funny Deadpool Quotes

deadpool quotes

21. “Gonna eat till I’m tired and then sleep till I’m hungry.”

22. “Never underestimate the stupidity of idiots.”

23. “If that hit you in the chest, I’m sorry. I was aiming for your crotch.”

24. “Life is an endless series of train-wrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness.”

25. “Zippty do dah, zippty-ay, I’m gonna blow all you dirtbags away. Plenty of bullets I’m gonna spray, Zippty do dah, zippty-ay.”

26.  “I can say Chimichanga in seven languages.”

27. Ajax: “Do you have an off switch?”
Deadpool: “It’s right next to the prostate, or is that the on switch?”

28. “She’s like the Batman to my Robin, but old, black, blind, and in love with me. Although I’m pretty sure Robin loves Batman.”

29. “With great power comes great merchandising opportunity.”

30. “Cancer is a shit show, like Yakov Smirnoff opening for Spin Doctors at the Iowa State Fair kind of shit show.”

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Deadpool Love Quotes

deadpool quotes

31. “What’s a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?”

32. “If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?”

33. “Your crazy matches my crazy. Big time.”

34. “I swear to God, I’m gonna find you in the next life, and I’m gonna boombox Careless Whisper outside your window. Wham!”

35. “Love is a beautiful thing. When you find it, the whole world smells like a daffodil daydream.”

36. “You don’t need to be a superhero to get the girl. The right girl will bring out the hero in you.”

37. “The worst part about cancer isn’t what it does to you. But what it does to the people you love. Who knew if this guy could save my life, but I knew there was only one way I could save hers.”

38. Wade: “We’re like two jigsaw pieces-weird curvy edges.” Vanessa: “Put them together and you can see the picture on top.”

39. Wade: “What if I held on and never let go?” Vanessa: “Ride a bitch’s back like Yoda on Luke?”

40. “I just want to get to know the real you. Not the short, 2-dimensional sex object peddled by Hollywood.”

We hope you’re able to enjoy these Deadpool quotes we’ve gathered here for you. You can also watch the movie if you haven’t. Thank us later.

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