Birthdays are celebrated once every year and it is always a moment everyone looks forward to. Many people always look for more fun-filled way to celebrate their birthdays every year and I think using some of these funny birthday jokes will not be a bad idea.
30th Birthday Jokes
1. Anyone who has turned 30 knows that it is only the beginning of this amazing thing called life. You will still have that youthfulness and fun, but you will also have the wisdom to get the job done. Happy Birthday!
2. Celebrate good times! At the age of 30, you can get down and flirty without the dirty!
3. Look on the bright side of turning 30- it’s not yet 40!
4. Although turning 30 is not a joke, it can still be a lot of laughs as you turn into a slowpoke!
5. Look at it this way-you have already went through three decades of your life with little strife. The best is yet to come.
6. Although you might be thirty, you will always be flirty!
7. You might think that turning 30 means your life will be cold now that you’re old. Cheer up, these are the best years ever, or so I’ve been told!
8. Here’s hoping that your 30th birthday is just as amazing as you are! I love you my dear friend, and hope that you will celebrate to no end!
9. Don’t look so sad, turning 30 isn’t that bad. Of course, I’m still 29, but I will soon have my time.
10. When turning 30, you might see a gray hair here and there, but when you look everywhere, you will see a love that is in the air. You are an amazing friend who I love to no end.
11. That small wrinkle on the face is in the right place as you celebrate the beginning of life’s race. Happy 30th Birthday!
12. By this time next year, you won’t think so much about turning 30 today. You will focus on how much closer you are to 40!
13. The years pass by way too fast, but I hope that this special birthday celebration will last!
14. Say goodbye to the 20s, they are in the past. This is a day that will be unlike the last. You are loved by all, large and small. Here’s to your big day as you celebrate this 30th birthday!
15. Alert! Someone I know is now 30! Her life must be over. No, wait, her life is just beginning. Happy Birthday to a sweet friend who is like none other.
16. 30 is close to 29, but you will never get your 20s back. Just kidding. I hope that this year will be the best year of your life yet as you deserve all that happiness can bring.
17. Since today’s your 30th birthday, I think I will take you to the movies to see if you are eligible for the senior citizen discount! If not, you’re just one step closer. Happy Birthday!
18. My wish for you today is that you never lose the ability to play. Though some might be willing to say, I can find no other way than to tell you that you are now 30.
19. is time next year, you won’t think so much about turning 30 today. You will focus on how much closer you are to 40!
20. My wish for you today is that you never lose the ability to play. Though some might be willing to say, I can find no other way than to tell you that you are now 30.
40th Birthday Jokes
21. 40 It’s all a big joke until it happens to you.
22. The new and improved 40 year old- yeah right!
23. Confuscious says, “Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you when you least expect it.”
24. Getting old sucks, but it sure beats the alternative.
25. I’m not 40, I’m 18 with 22 years experience!
26. Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
27. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
28. Turning 40 is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind it doesn’t matter.
29. It was reported recently that at the age of 20, men say they have sex at least 5 times a week. By the time they reach 40, they’re still telling the same lie.
30. My own mortality will be the death of me yet.
31. Mouth is in gear, brain is in neutral.
32. It’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
33. Don’t take life so seriously, it’s not permanent.
34. Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed. -Charles Schulz
35. The best years of a woman’s life are the ten years between 39 and 40.
36. “You know what they say about your 40th birthday?” and in the follow up message send “Damn!”
50th Birthday Jokes
37. Hot flashes? Don’t think of it as menopause. Think of it as regular short vacations in the tropics.
38. 50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that’s halfway up the stairway to heaven.
39. Turning 50? Laughter is the gift that keeps you in the present.
40. For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was 1978, but the time machine was booked. – Jean Sorensen
41. If you haven’t grown up by age 50, you don’t have to.
42. The best form of birth control for people over 50: nudity.
43. Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.
44. By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.
45. At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.
46. Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. – Phyllis Diller
47. Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles. – Melanie White
48. You spend more time trimming your nose hair than head hair.
49. You realize with some irritation that your parents were right about nearly everything.
50. The street vendor says “Yes, Ma’am” instead of “You got it, Darlin.’”
51. 50 years old: You finally get your head together, and your body has other ideas.
52. At 21 you’re finally free to slam down the throttle and see how fast you can go. At 30 you realize, hey, this thing has a brake pedal too. By 40, that brake pedal is showing some serious wear. At 50, let’s face it, you need a brake job. – Greg Tamblyn
53. You’ve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you.
54. Your high school yearbook is moldy enough to support a thriving colony of algae.
55. When you look in a full-length mirror, you can see your butt from the front.
56. You’re still hot, but only in flashes.
60th Birthday Jokes – Birthday Jokes For Men
57. Turning 60 means: No More Tank Tops. It’s a rule.
58. Your pants creep upward as you get older. By 60 you’re a pair of pants with a head.
59. Congrats, you’re 60! Time to start yelling at the television.
60. Age 60 is when it takes a man all night to do what he used to do all night.
61. By the time you reach 60, lots of body parts are larger than they used to be. Especially your tattoos.
– Greg Tamblyn
62. Now that I’m 60, I wouldn’t want to be a teenager again. But I wouldn’t mind looking like one.
– Melanie White
63. Congrats – you’re 60! If you acted your age, you’d be schizophrenic.
– Melanie White
64. I was born old and get younger every day. At present I am sixty years young.
– Herbert Beerbohm Tree
65. Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m sixty-four?
– Paul McCartney
66. It took me awhile, but I’m finally a 60-year-old senior. I wonder how much longer till graduation?
– Melanie White
67. At 60 years old, your birthday suit requires regular ironing.
68. We put 60 candles on your cake, but by the time we got the last one lit, the first twenty had already burned out.
69. At 60 you can still chase women, but only downhill.
70. By the time you hit 60, when someone leaves a sexy lipstick message on your mirror, your first reaction is wondering how to clean it off.
71. At 60, two of the most important things in life are bowel movements and nose hair.
– Greg Tamblyn
72. 60th birthday thrills: more pills, more chills, and more bills.
– Greg Tamblyn
73. Q: What’s the easiest way to remember your wife’s birthday? A: Forget it once!
74. Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? A: They were all born on holidays.
75. Q: What goes up and never comes down? A: Your age!
76. Q: Why did the little girl get soap for her birthday? A: It was a so a prize party!.
77. Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: “Don’t birthdays burn you up?”
78. Q: “Were any famous men born on your birthday?” A: “No, only little babies.”
79. Q: Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? A: Because people kept toasting him!
80. Q: What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? A: Angel food cake, of course!
81. Q: What’s the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? A: Get married on his birthday.
82. Q: What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow? A: A birthday pheasant!
83. Q: How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? A: He has a whale of a party!
84. Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: “Don’t birthdays burn you up?”
85. Q: What was the average age of a cave man? A: Stone Age!
86. Q: Why couldn’t prehistoric man send birthday cards? A: The stamps kept falling off the rocks!
87. Q: Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? A: Because it was marble cake!
88. Q: What does a clam do on his birthday? A: He shellabrates!
89. Q: What party game do rabbits like to play? A: Musical Hares!
90. Q: What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? A: Mice cream and cake!
91. Q: Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? A: In a cat-alogue!
92. Q: Why did everyone hide from Sue on her birthday? A: Because they wanted her to be Sue-prised!
93. Q: What is a meaning of a true friend? A: One who remembers your birthday but not your age!
94. Q: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? A: Thanks. I’ll never part with it!
95. Q: Why are birthday’s good for you? A: Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!
96. Q: What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? A: “What’s eating you?”
97. Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? A: When it’s been sliced.
98. Q: What do you give nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday? A: I don’t know, but you’d better hope he likes it!
99. Q: Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? A: It was icing on the cake.
100. Q: What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? A: You can have your cake and eat it too.
101. Q: Did you hear about the dancer’s birthday? A: It was a tappy one!
101. Q: How can you tell that you’re getting old? A: You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!
102. Q: Did you hear about the flag’s birthday? A: It was a flappy one!
103. Q: Did you hear about the tree’s birthday? A: It was a sappy one!
104. Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? A: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
Chuck Norris Birthday Jokes – Corny Birthday Jokes
105. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, ‘Two seconds till.’ After you ask, ‘Two seconds to what?’ he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
106. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
107. Chuck Norris appeared in the ‘Street Fighter II’ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this ‘glitch,’ Norris replied, ‘That’s no glitch.’
108. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
109. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
110. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
111.The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
112. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Birthday Jokes For Kids – Birthday Knock Knock Jokes
113. Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7, 8, 9.
114. Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A: A tuba toothpaste.
115. Knock, knock.Who’s there?Pizza.Pizza who?Pizza really great guy!
116. Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours?A: Nacho cheese!
117. Q: What do elves learn in school?A: The elf-abet.
118. Knock, knock.Who’s there?Cows go.Cows go who?No, silly. Cows go “moo!”
119. Q: What did 0 say to 8?A: Nice belt!
120. Q: What did the mushroom say to the fungus?A: You’re a fun guy [fungi].
121. Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing himself a lullaby?A: He was a little hoarse.
122. Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?A: He wanted to go to high school.
123. Q: Where do pencils go for vacation?A: Pencil-vania.
124. Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?A: To go with the traffic jam!
125. Q: Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?A: Because they might peel!
126. Knock, knock.Who’s there?Lettuce.Lettuce who?Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
127. After many years, a prisoner is finally released.He runs around yelling, “I’m free! I’m free!”A little kid walks up to him and says, “So what? I’m 4.”
128. Q: How do you make a tissue dance?A: You put a little boogie in it.
129. Q: Which flower talks the most?A: Tulips, of course, because they have two lips!
130. Q: A man arrived in a small town on Friday. He stayed for two days and left on Friday. How is this possible?A: His horse’s name is Friday!
131. Knock, knock.Who’s there?Little old lady.Little old lady who?Wow, I didn’t know you could yodel!
132. Knock, knock.Who’s there?Canoe.Canoe who?Canoe help me with my homework?
133. Knock, knockWho’s there?Merry.Merry who?Merry Christmas!
134. Knock, knock.Who’s there?Orange.Orange who?Orange you going to let me in?
135. Knock, knock.Who’s there?Noah.Noah who?Noah good place we can get something to eat?
136. Knock, knock.Who’s there?Robin.Robin who?Robin the piggy bank again.
137. Knock, knock.Who’s there?Dwayne.Dwayne who?Dwayne the bathtub, It’s overflowing!