In this age and time of mobile communication, texting is still and perhaps will always be one of the most popular ways people get to communicate with each other. It is a less tasking thing to do when you want to text a casual friend, a colleague, or a family member. But when the destination of your text message is the inbox of a girl you recently met or have a crush on and want to woo, then we guys know too well texting is a lot more tasking. A lot of thought, strategic timing, and general preparations have to be put in place before you bid farewell and hope for a positive response to those string of electronic alphabets, carefully assembled to convey your heartfelt emotions or simply depict you as someone she really needs to give attention to.
Depending on what your intent for texting a girl is and what you want to achieve, there are various ways and things to text a girl about to achieve specific objectives. Below, there are tips for texting a girl you recently met, a girl you want to get interested in you and general tips for texting a girl as well as what to avoid when texting a girl.
If You Recently Met Her, Bear These in Mind and Text Her
Yes, you have met her and it seems like it is the happiest day of your life, you have also done well to have gotten her phone number. But after this first meeting, what becomes of you too depends majorly on how she weighs your subsequent interactions/conversations with her in the light of your first meeting. So, you should put a lot of thought and work into how you text her as if you have got only one shot. Apparently, in some instances, you have got only one shot, so make it count.
1. Be Creative and Grab Her Attention
Gone are the days of bland cliches like “How are you doing?” “Anything new?” “Whatsup? and their likes. They have outlived their usefulness in contemporary times and will hardly ever maximize your chances of starting off meaningful texting with the girl you exchanged phone numbers with. You should be creative from the start because it will grab her attention like “oh wow! how did he come up with that?” and this will give rise to a fruitful conversation. These tips will help
- If she doesn’t have your number already, text her like this: “Here’s a text so you have my number too. Try not to call often because my wife might get suspicious. Dan”
She will probably be surprised and send you a LOL if she knows that you’re joking or she might ask, “Huh, are you married?” then you can reply, “No, just kidding 😛 I’ll give you a call soon. Great to meet you ;)”
- Refer to your earlier conversation: “Hi Rose, how was your studies today, have you been able to figure out a solution to the maths problem?”
2. Keep Your Text/s Short
Avoid texting her something that is overly elaborate or sounding desperately needy, otherwise, it will make you seem creepy and boring. Instead, keep your texts short to keep the conversation going and make her curious. On the other hand, if she’s replying to your text with 1, 2, or 3-word answers, your text may be coming off less conversational to her so try something more engaging.
3. Text at the Right Time
Yes, it is very important you text when the time is right to maximize your chances of getting a good response. Texting her at odd times is a big turn-off for any girl. Yes, you want her to know you are always thinking about her, but have you got nothing else to do? Even if you are less busy, give her inbox space and let her anticipate what your next text will be, when it will be, and at what time it will arrive. That way, she is more reply to send you a befitting response.
4. Make Her Laugh
With a healthy dose of humor, we cope better with life challenges. Though humor does not solve our life problems, it instead gives our mind moments of respite which reduces our stress level. Yes, you should make her laugh over text and you don’t need to be a comedian to pull this off. You can text her a variety of funny texts like:
- “Even your texts have a weird accent. Where are they from?”
- “How do you feel about being single for a long period of time?”
- “Hey beautiful, do you know why you are the only woman that makes me nervous?” etc
5. Ask Reasonable Questions when Necessary
When texting a girl, you can make the texting conversational elicit responses from her. However, the conversation should not be a question and answer session rather the questions you ask should blend naturally within the context of your conversation. You can even start off the texting by asking her a question like how her day or week was, and if there were important events she had that day/week, you can ask about them. Generally, you should have these in mind when asking questions over text:
- Keep it simple
- Text when you know it’s convenient for her to answer.
- Keep it open-ended, avoid questions that need a one or two-word answer.
6. Be mindful of Your Grammar
Though you don’t have to sound like American essayist, novelist, and screenwriter Scott Fitzgerald, you should at least make sure the words of the text you are sending are grammatically correct. On the other hand, there’s no point in using big words you think will make you sound like a lexicographer. Remember it’s a simple text and not a thesis.
- Capitalize words where necessary.
- Mind your commas, apostrophes, colons and semi-colons.
- Take a quick scan of the text before hitting the send button.
7. Don’t Flood Her Inbox
No matter how tempting it might be to pour out your heart to her or just to keep seeing her responses to your texts, you need to apply moderation. For one thing, texting a girl excessively simply makes her believe one or all of these: you are obsessed about her, needy, and pathetically annoying. So avoid flooding her inbox! Here’s the right way to text with moderation and be sure there’s an equal flow of conversation between you two:
- Don’t text her immediately you hear from her.
- Avoid using emoticons excessively.
- Use punctuations appropriately and avoid unnecessary capitalization (to draw attention).
6. Focus on Your Goal About Her
There’s often a tendency to relax and lose focus when all seem to be going well between the both of you over text. Hey, get off it! If you continue this way she is going to lose interest in you sooner than you notice it. So remember what your goal about her is and begin to steer your texting in that direction. In doing these, however, do not for one assume that any of the tips mentioned above are no longer relevant. No, they are still relevant and should be adhered to strictly.
7. Flirt with Her
Flirting with a girl you like over text is a way to tell her you are interested in her. However, you should apply caution while doing this because a little too much and too soon, and it can be all over. Flirt with her just enough to show her you are interested in her. You can start with mild flirty texts and progress to more daring ones if her responses to your flirty texts are encouraging.
- Mild flirty texts
“Everything makes me think of you,” “Do you like it when someone makes the first move?” “Which emoji makes you think of me?” etc.
- Daring flirty texts
“I had a dream we were sexting. Am I still dreaming?” “I just bought a new shirt and I have no one to try it on for,” “I’m supposed to be working/studying right now, but I’d rather be investigating your body,” etc.
8. Guess Her Responses/Answers
Provided she is comfortable with you and you allow her to express herself as freely as she wants, guessing her response while texting can be a fun thing to do. Any girl will be surprised at how you are able to guess what is in her mind and might even see you like someone who has superpowers. However, for this to work in your favor, there are a few things you should have in mind:
- Allow her to express herself or tell you what you think most of the time
9. Role play with Her
The goal here is to get her to respond to your text and it should be a response that will encourage further texting. There are a variety of things you can role play about but it’s not advisable to be too adventurous, rather stick to what has been tested and trusted, and don’t push your luck.
A simple “I need your opinion on something” will do the trick, it will get her brains fired up expecting to be that adviser whose advice will make a whole lot of positive difference for you. She will most likely respond by asking “what.” Then you can play around with what advice you are seeking from her. It can even be asking her where she thinks is the perfect place couples should have their first date.
10. Set up a Date
A lot will have been happening as you too continue to exchange texts and possibly have hung out a couple of times. But your aim ideally is not just to be sending and replying to texts because the fact is if it is prolonged, she will be bored out and probably lose interest in you. In other to keep her interested in you, you should set up a date and tell her about it. Depending on how you want to go about it, you can suggest a date in a conversation you are having like this:
- “I’d love we continue this conversation in person. How about we talk about it over dinner or a drink if you don’t mind?”
Do You Want Her to Like You? Text Her Like This
Texting can be a fun thing to do when you know the right things to text at the right moments. But when you text amiss, it can also be the reason why she will decide never to associate with you again. Simply put, wrong texting can kill a relationship you are hoping to nurture. But in other to avoid this, follow learn to text her like a pro as we have discussed below and have her beaming with smiles whenever she picks up her phone and sees your text.
11. Text Her the day You met Her or After Your Date
There was a time when texting a girl 3 days after you met her was the golden rule, but gone are those days as girls now prefer guys who like them to show interest in them from the start. The text doesn’t need to be something sophisticated or one where you will pour out your heart explaining how you were overwhelmed by her presence or any of such. No! Cut it out.
A simple “Hey (her name), it’s (your name) from this morning’s meeting! (when or where you met)” or something in the context of “Hi (her name), it is (your name) I’m glad Stella we had a yesterday” if you have gotten to that stage already. The idea here is to register or register your presence in her mind so she knows you are not just one random person.
12. Text Her like You Know Her
Again, it is important you know what you want to text her at any particular time and make sure it is relevant at that time. Texting a girl you like random things and expecting her to reply or even like you back is one fast way to tell her “hey I’m so booring and will keep booring you out.”
Instead, let your texts be within context and relevant to her at every point in time. You can figure this out by texting her a good morning greeting and proceed to ask how her day is going to be. That way, you already have an idea of what she has planned for the day, and should you have a need to text her, or you just want to check up on her, you already know when to text it and how.
13. User Her Name or Pet Name
When you text a girl using her name or pet name, there are two things either of which she will think about you and they are both a win for you. Your text can be
- “Hey (her name)! How was the rest of your weekend?” or
- “(Her name)! Great meeting you!”
If you mention her name appropriately in the text, she will know for certain that it is not a generic text you sent but instead, you remeber her name. She would most likely reply to you and this might lead to some conversation that will help you get her attention.
If you use a pet name, she will think “oh how cute, he already gave me/knows my pet name” which will also move her to respond. In fact, most girls already know that when a guy calls them by their pet name, it is a sign that he likes her.
14. Mirror Her Texting Style
When texting a girl you like, be careful to observe how she responds to your texts and mirror her responses. For example, if she responds to your texts with few words instead of lengthy sentences, reply to her texts with few words as she would. Also, if she easily uses emoticons when texting you, also reply to her text messages with emoticons where appropriate. And if she has a habit of texting or replying to your texts during particular times of the day, by all means, adjust your schedule and text her mainly at such times. By doing all these, she will read your texts in her subconscious as if she was the one sending them.
15. Use this Specific Word – Togetherness
Words like We, our, us, together are very important when conversing with a girl you like. When texting her, use these words as often as possible where applicable and over time, she will start unconsciously using the words when texting you. Apparently, she has started taking a liking to you.
16. Use Descriptive Words
As many as it’s sufficient, use words that describe what you’re saying Words that describe color, textures, thoughts, smells, and even your feelings towards her. They will be the words that echo in her mind long after she has read your text and responded. Words like adorable, brilliant, bright, brave, keen, joyful, handsome, intelligent, etc. will do the magic for you.
17. Don’t Flirt All The Time
No matter how tempting it might seem, or even how relaxed she is getting around you, apply moderation to how you flirt with her. If used appropriately, flirting can be used to make a girl like you over text. You can use it to convey that inner feeling you have for her which is often lost in mere words. To flirt effectively and responsibly, you should add a playful attitude to your flirty texts. Texts like this can do the magic for you –
- “I had to change your name in my contacts… I was getting way too excited every time your name popped up.”
- Which emoji makes you think of me?
- “Don’t work too hard today. You’re gonna need some energy for when we hang out later.”
18. Use Emoticons
Except she is not a fan of emoticons, but who isn’t? Use emoticons to spice up your text and add that extra charm and color to your text. Send her a smile and kisses as appropriate and even if she asks about them, you can reply jokingly that it’s a goodbye kiss. Ordinarily, those emoticons are self-explanatory so if she’s asking what they are for, use your response to your advantage.
19. Keep Texts Simple And Short
It can never be over-emphasized that when texting a girl you like and want her to like you back, you must always cut out the complexities and keep your texts simple and straight to the point. Also, use a simple to read/understand language and emoticons where appropriate.
20. Don’t Substitute Texts for Meetings
No matter how comfortable you are texting her and you also perceive she is comfortable replying to your texts, always bear in mind that your friendship/relationship with her can’t be via texting forever. So when you have gotten her attention and she has shown interest she likes you, remember to have frequent real-life meetings with her as often as possible.
Tips on what to Avoid While Texting a Girl
We can always go on mentioning a million tips and strategies you can use and make a girl like you over text, but one small error can blow all your chances with her. Therefore it is imperative that having known how to start off texting a girl and also how to keep her engaged in the texting, you should avoid the following in other not to lose her.
21. Avoid Asking her name over text
If for any reason you forgot her name after she must have told you, as much as possible, avoid asking what her name is over text. If you do, it simply suggests to her you didn’t attach importance to your first meeting.
Instead, with her phone number, try and look up her name or even find her name on social media. It is very easy to find someone’s name these days than it used to be when most people hardly had an online presence.
22. Subject Sticking
It might be okay to continue an ongoing joke over text after you met her, but after some time, the fun in it will naturally get worn off. So avoid going back to the joke or trying to start off a conversation by referencing the joke.
23. Avoid Excessive Interrogation
Way too often, most guys end up interrogating a girl over text rather than having a fun conversation. Even, some do this without knowing only to end up realizing it when the girl must have lost interest in them.
To be on the safe, make your texting conversational and less formal. Ask for her opinions politely and share ideas with her. Better still, you can even try and guess some things about her and maybe give the wrong answer and see how she reacts to it.
24. Don’t Ramble
You will quickly bore her out if she has to scroll through a body of text before she gets to the point you are trying to make in a message. Simply cut out the rambling and use a few descriptive words to say what you want to say.