Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or family member asked something of you and you were surprised that would ask such? It does not have to be a bad or absurd thing, just something that is completely antithetical to who you are as a person. It is not unlikely that this will happen to you, especially with people who you do not share tight bonds with but it hurts a bit when it is someone you are close to.
To avoid such moments of borderline betrayal where it seems like your friends or those closest to you do not know you, ask these few questions to see the depth of their knowledge of you while also giving them the chance to know you better.
Why should you care if your friends really know you?
It is one thing to know who you are and be fully self-aware of yourself as a person. Some people would say that no one knows you better than you know yourself and while this might be true for specific scenarios no one is truly that self-aware to know how they behave at all times. The people around us are those who experience who we are to the fullness of our capacity.
If these people who are close to you, especially if they have been in your life for a long time do not really know you it can sting. These are the people who you have been vulnerable around, who you have shared your ups and downs with and who you want to be in your life for a long time and their lack of knowledge about you will hurt especially if you have invested time and emotional capacity in your relationship with them.
You should care if your friends really know you, the world can be cold and unkind and we all need and deserve the warmth that friendship offers. Our friendships are one of the few relationships that we actually chose to pursue. Then what is the point of pursuing a relationship with someone if they cannot be bothered to know you as well as they possibly can?
Questions To Figure Out Those Who Know You the Most
After a fun day with your friends, just unwinding and relishing each other’s company you might want to test yourselves to see who knows the most about each other, the best way to do this is to ask a series of questions. It can be done in a game format with a points system to keep it light and friendly.
Here are some questions that you can ask to see who knows the most about the circle of friends. The first ten questions are generic fun questions whose answers can easily be guessed.
- Have I been arrested by the police before?
- Do I give any indications that I am having a bad day?
- Have I ever had any otherworldly experience?
- At what time do I go to bed daily?
- Am I a morning person or not?
- What do I do when I feel stressed?
- Do I believe in the supernatural?
- Am I a creative person?
- Do I tend to be more messy or neat?
- Am I a noisy eater?
The following questions are about your past and this requires a tighter bond with whomever you are asking these questions.
- Who am I like more, my mother or my father?
- Where did I spend my childhood?
- What kind of student was I in school?
- Did I have a happy childhood?
- What was my biggest fear as a kid?
- Did I have a childhood pet?
- What was my curricular activity in school?
- Who is my oldest friend?
- Did I have a favourite teacher in school?
- What did I love to eat the most as a child?
The next set of questions are about your feelings and how you handle your romantic relationships.
- What is my biggest pet peeve?
- What do I like to do when I am angry?
- What is my happy place?
- When I witness injustice am I empathetic, sympathetic, or just flat out apathetic?
- Am I good with public displays of affection?
- What mistake do I make in all my relationships?
- What are my thoughts on infidelity?
- Do you think I would ever be part of an open relationship?
- Optimism or pessimism, which do I lean towards more?
- Am I a kind person?
To test if your friends know the types of activities you engage in often, you can ask these questions
- How do I unwind?
- How many times do I brush a day?
- How often do I work out?
- Netflix or the cinema which do I do more?
- Would I rather go for a book reading or visit the museum?
- What do I spend my weekends doing?
- How often do I go on vacations?
- What do I do when I am alone?
- Do I go to church?
- How often do I visit the doctor?
Do we ever really know anyone?
Have you ever wondered about how well you know the people in your life and if you can truly know them? The short and simple answer to this is no. We never really know anyone and this includes you. People are constantly changing and it could either be progressive or regressive growth, this is one reason you can never really know anyone. People are mercurial and they are constantly going through changes but the great part of a relationship is keeping up with your friends and learning about the new things that define who they are. The same should be done to you as well.
People have very private aspects of their lives, this is another reason we can never really know people. There is only so much anyone is willing to reveal about themselves and you can only know what they are willing to tell or show you. This does not give you a hall pass to not learn as much as you possibly can about the people in your life.