In relationships of varying forms, different people have their own love languages. To foster a great relationship, we must recognize our loved ones’ love language and speak it to them. Words of Affirmation is one of the generally recognized five love languages that exist and it is how a large number of people feel the most loved and valued. For people like this, they thrive on words. It is what they value the most above all things.
Supposing your friend’s or partner’s primary love language is words of affirmation, it is important you regularly and continuously tell them how much they mean to you. Do not just assume that your actions show it already. They need to hear the words, so you have to speak them. Doing this ensures you are on your way towards building a beautiful and better relationship.
What Are Words Of Affirmation?
According to the author of The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman, words of affirmation is the most common love language in the world ahead of quality time and acts of service. It is also the only one of the five to be dependent on verbal expression.
Words of affirmation are words that you speak to your partner to communicate your care, affection, and concern towards them. Research shows that using words of affirmation improves brain function, increasing cognitive reasoning, and strengthened frontal lobes. Supposing you are in a relationship of a varying kind with people who thrive on words of affirmation, you will notice they love to get complimented on any and everything.
Positive words spoken represent a huge form of validation, and they mostly rely on it. On the flip side, negative or harsh words spoken in the heat of the moment or during an argument cuts deep and leaves a painful scar even after you have both reconciled. People with words of affirmation as their primary love language remember every word spoken to them, either positive or negative.
It is therefore imperative that you consciously remind them of their worth and value to you. Doing this creates the foundation for a healthy relationship. People who value words of affirmation also give it back to the people in their lives. They are very observant and will notice every little detail about their partners, friends, and even strangers. Expressing care and concern is their forte.
Psychological theories agree with the fact that positive affirmations require regular practice to make a long-lasting and significant change in your relationship.
It might be bemusing for people who have other love languages or do not believe in the power of words. They might wonder why someone places so much importance on words of affirmation. Making snide remarks regarding this might cause serious hurt to the person in question. Rather than doing this, here are some reasons why words of affirmation are essential:
They Are An Expression Of Love
Words of affirmation are a powerful expression of love and affection to your partner. Expressing how important your partner is to you or how much you love them has a strong impact on their overall demeanor. It can also make them even happier. Saying it regularly makes the effect even more substantial, and he/she feels more assured in the relationship.
Just like they derive great satisfaction from positive words, they get serious pain from harsh criticism and negative words. So, be careful not to speak carelessly lest you cause irreparable damage.
It Builds Your Partner Up
Maybe your partner does not have words of affirmation as their primary love language. Still, speaking such positive words and expressing belief in them goes a long way towards building their confidence and encouraging them. It gives them the strength to face whatever might be coming their way and overcome. It could be a project, work presentation, exam, or a job interview. Sending a message of encouragement that you believe in and trust them makes them more confident.
It Tells Them You Notice All They Do
People that thrive on words of affirmation value the small things as they do the big stuff. Recognizing and appreciating your partner for merely doing the ‘small things’ is a giant step towards fostering a much better relationship. It also sends a message that you are observant and notices all they do. It makes them feel much more secure.
Examples Of Words Of Affirmation To Speak To Your Loved Ones
Speaking words of affirmation might seem a straightforward prospect for a lot of people. However, it remains a challenge for some, and coming up with the right things to say seems to be a herculean task. Below are some useful examples that apply to different scenarios.
Words Of Affirmation To Express Appreciation
- Thank you for being a positive role model for other people in your life and me
- You make my life easier just by existing and being with me
- I am blessed to live with you because you complement me so perfectly
- Thank you for always encouraging me when I’m doubtful and inspiring me to be myself. You are my best friend.
- I appreciate you helping out with the dishes. I know you were tired.
- You make my mornings beautiful and my days more comfortable. Thank you for being in my life.
Words Of Affirmation To Express Admiration
- Your excellent work ethic inspires me to give my best too.
- I was impressed when you took charge at work the other day.
- You care so much about the quality of your work. I admire how you pay close attention to the details.
- Your cheerful demeanor is contagious. I love being around your bubbly personality and cheerful face.
- Your courage to be yourself is admirable. I love your authenticity and genuineness.
Words Of Affirmation To Express Empathy
- I just want you to know I am aware of what you are going through, and I am always here for you.
- You may feel broken right now but know you are brave and strong. You will get through this.
- I know how challenging it must be, having to give these presentations for a week. You can do this.
- If you need a listening ear, I’m here for you. I would like to understand what you are dealing with right now.
Words Of Affirmation To Express Encouragement
- I am so proud of all you have achieved so far and excited about what you are yet to achieve.
- You continue to make a difference in my life and the lives of others. Please keep it up.
- I believe totally in you and know you will crush this presentation.
- I know you are capable of great things and you will go on to achieve them.
- You are a beacon of hope to everyone going through the same issue, and i know you will overcome this.
Words Of Affirmation To Express Acknowledgement
- You look radiant and beautiful today.
- I could not help but notice your new shoes. They are wonderful.
- I respect you for taking responsibility earlier today. You were so mature.
- You were so creative with how you explained that problem to me. I understood.
- Seeing you follow your dreams fills me with so much happiness.
- You are a source of encouragement to a whole lot of people and me.
General Examples Of Words Of Affirmation
Below are thirty general examples of words of affirmation. These examples apply to various forms of scenario or people. You can use it for a colleague at work, your parents, your lover, or your friends. The beautiful thing about words of affirmation is that they’re not limited to romantic relationships. Relationships of all kinds (platonic, professional, and romantic) all require words of affirmation to thrive. Recognizing that your colleague, friend, and lover are at their best when they hear positive words gives you a platform to build that relationship. Enjoy the examples below:
Tips On How To Use Words Of Affirmation To Build Your Relationship
It is one thing to know your partner’s love language is words of affirmation and another to understand how to use it to build your relationship and make it stronger. Employ the following tips when practicing its usage and watch your relationship become stronger:
Express Them Regularly
This is of significant importance. Do not turn expressing your affection or encouragement for your partner into a chore. Do not make it an occasional thing. Be conscious and aware enough to always look for ways to let them know how valued and loved they are. Remember, they thrive on these things to feel good, so, you need to feed them regularly.
People who rely on words of affirmation can often tell when someone is passing an insincere or superficial compliment. Doing this in your relationship will only cause more issues. Do not copy and paste words gotten from the internet or some book and pass it off as yours. If you struggle with words, it is okay, to be honest. Let them know you are trying for them and you want it to be as genuine and heartfelt as possible. Be creative, be funny, and most importantly, be yourself.
Write It Down If Speaking Is Hard
Some people genuinely struggle with expressing themselves. If you are one of those, then it is okay to pen your thoughts down. A little note or card sends the same message you wish to express. It also gives you more time to write down precisely what you want to say and communicate from the heart.
Words Are Everything
Always recall that words matter and it applies to both good and bad words. What you say affects your partner, so, choose your words carefully. Think before you speak. If you have to say something negative, frame it carefully by inserting a few positive words, that way, it doesn’t seem like a blow.
Recognize The Words Your Partner Likes The Most
To enjoy the best results that come from words of affirmation, observe the positive phrases that resonate the most with your partner and deploy them more often. If your partner enjoys comments on their appearance a lot, compliment them often on it. If their career gives them the most joy, ensure you speak consistently on how proud you are of them. You are on your way to having a great relationship.
Add a bit of spice and excitement to your delivery of these compliments. While you can conventionally deliver it through words, spicing things up with outside-of-the-box thinking will also score you points. Dropping secret notes in their clothing, pasting notes on their mirror, writing a song, or calling them unexpectedly at work will go a long way.
Things To Avoid If Your Partner’s Primary Love Language Is Words Of Affirmation
You have learned the things to do in order to build a better relationship with your partner. There are also certain things to avoid as well if you are in a relationship with someone whose primary love language is words of affirmation.