Self-love is of utmost importance if you want to explore your full potentials on earth. Appreciating who you are and what you have accomplished gives you the impression that you are good enough which is what every human being should always indulge in once in a while. Research has shown that for diverse reasons, a lot of people have challenges when it comes to feeling good enough and this can be linked to a variety of reasons. “We almost always feel pressure to do it all and be it all: a friend, employee, boss, partner, son or daughter, sibling,” says licensed psychotherapist Rachel Wright. For the purpose of guiding you through the, we gathered.
What Does It Mean To Be Good Enough?
One thing to take note of here is this, that you are good enough does not mean you are perfect and have it all figured out. Being good enough means you accept who you are, believe in yourself, and understand that you don’t need to go the extra mile to be more loved, accepted, or seen as worthy by other people. The things you need to want more of are what will improve your worth, including being more honest, authentic, purposeful, and aiming to achieve more goals in life. The moment you let yourself feel you need to live your life to match somebody’s standards, you might start feeling not good enough when things don’t really go as planned.
You were not designed the way you are by mistake. Likewise, you are not in the place you are right now by mistake, there’s a purpose in your life that only you can fulfill and you need to be true to yourself to do that. Whether you are a mess sometimes, beautiful, or broken, you are enough, as long as you are not trying to prove yourself to anyone. Just show up and make efforts to grow aspects of your life that need to be improved but be sure you are doing it for yourself, not someone else.
If you wrap your self-worth around the opinion of other people, you will definitely have days when you feel less worthy of what you have. You will be convinced that you will never be enough and in a worst-case scenario, you might even feel you are a bad person just because of what people’s opinions have turned you into. The truth is, we all know who we are but the distraction from the opinions of other people makes it hard to concentrate on the good part. Thus, you need to believe in yourself rather than what people think.
In as much as you need to know that you are good enough, it is also important to know the limits. Not that you have to put limitations on your achievements, but the meaning of being good enough should not be overemphasized or taken for granted. In that vein, let’s look at what ‘you are good enough’ does not mean.
What Being Good Enough Does Not Mean
When you say you are good enough, you are not really talking about perfection because nobody is perfect. That you are enough does not mean you are done growing and learning new things. Below are a few things that should not be mistaken for being enough.
That you are enough doesn’t mean you should stop trying
In life, you have to keep trying if you want to achieve your goals. As such, telling yourself you are good enough should not stop you from striving to become the best you can be. The focus, however, should be on yourself, not what other people think.
It doesn’t mean you are complete
Yes, you are good enough but are you complete? That you are good enough may mean that you don’t have to go beyond your capabilities to be who you are meant to be but that doesn’t mean you have it all figured out. You can never be finished or done trying as long as you have life. Instead, you will keep growing and learning new things which will help you become a better version of yourself.
It doesn’t mean you have everything
No matter how hard you try, it is highly impossible to have it all. In fact, by the time you come to terms with the fact that you cannot have everything, you truly have a good grasp of the idea of being good enough. You really don’t need to have everything before you can be enough, just know how much you need and you can do great things with that.
That you are enough doesn’t mean you don’t need help
If you know you are good enough, you would also know that it’s okay to ask for help as no man is an island. Knowing who you are makes it easier to admit you have weaknesses like every other human but they don’t reduce your worth.
It doesn’t mean you are above mistakes
True, you are good enough but that doesn’t mean flawless in the true sense of the word. You need to admit your mistakes and work towards becoming a better person. Howbeit, your flaws and mistakes don’t define you.
Why People May Often Think They Are Not Good Enough
Have you ever wondered why you don’t often feel you are good enough? There’s always that tiny voice within, telling you it can’t be done by you, making you feel less. Here are some possible reasons why you have allowed that voice to make you feel not good enough.
- Low self-esteem
Low self-worth can make you feel you lack the capability to achieve great things and that is why you often find yourself doubting every step you want to take. The reason you feel you are not good enough is that your inner voice is judgemental and criticizes everything you do.
- Toxic relationships
Look around you, are there too many critical people around? Sometimes it’s not the negative thoughts we have that pull us down, it’s all the toxic relationships we keep with people who will hardly see anything good in what we do.
- Traumatic experiences
Childhood experiences can also trigger the feeling of not being good enough. If you didn’t get enough attention or care as a child, it might affect your self-esteem.
- Disapproving parents
Living with critical parents who have high expectations can lead to a loss of self-esteem. This usually happens when you fail to live up to their standards and they come at you with disappointing words. Also, sometimes, parents tend to favor one child over the others.
Benefits of Feeling Good Enough
There is nothing like perfection in a human being and knowing this will help you build your self-esteem, understanding that you are enough just the way you are. The benefits of feeling good enough cannot be overemphasized and some are listed below.
- Feeling good enough boosts self-confidence
- Improves performance
- Allows room for creativity
- Leaves little or no room for anxiety and depression
- If you feel good enough, you will be open to good suggestions and not feel too proud to ask for help
- You will learn new things everyday.
The Negative Side Of Not Feeling Good Enough
Outweighing the benefits of feeling good enough is the negative side of not feeling good enough. You tend to suffer some of these downsides if you often feel you are not enough.
- You burden yourself with irrelevant thoughts
- Low self-worth
- You always compare yourself to others
- Not feeling good enough can lead to suicidal thoughts
- You tend to lose connection with other people
- You may cling to a toxic relationship for fear of not having what it takes to find true love
What To Say To Someone Who Doesn’t Think They Are Good Enough
Have you ever encountered someone with low-self esteem and didn’t know what to say to them. here are some suggestions.
Be mindful of your thoughts
Negative thoughts can kill your vibes and stop you from achieving great things. It’s okay to listen to your inner voice sometimes but not when it’s being critical and negative about every step you want to take.
Focus on your progress, not on perfection
The struggle for perfection and success often makes us forget we are humans and humans make mistakes. Thus, when things don’t go the way we planned them, we relapse into depressions. Instead of wallowing in your shortcomings and looking down on yourself because of something you failed to achieve, lift your spirit by acknowledging the things you did achieve. The progress is what matters the most.
When you compare yourself to people, remember that they also compare themselves to others
Nobody has it all but contentment is the key. There is no point comparing your achievements with what another person has because that other person is also struggling in some aspects of their life and wishing they have something another person has.
Instead of comparing yourself to people, connect with them
We meet people to exchange ideas and knowledge and not to compare. Besides, you deprive yourself of the joy of contentment when you compare. Everybody is on a different path and until you walk in the next person’s shoes, you have no right comparing your life to theirs.
Do what you can and leave the rest
There’s no way you can figure everything out. If you do the one you are capable of, leave the rest for others or fate to take care of. This doesn’t mean you are incompetent but shows you know your limits.
You don’t need approval from anyone
Pay attention to who you are instead of what people make of you. You are enough, even though some people may beg to differ but it doesn’t matter because you know it in your heart that despite your flaws, you are enough.
Challenge that inner critic
That inner voice telling you negative things about everything you do is not helping you. Oftentimes, the voice in your head is just trying to protect you but the negativity always comes with huge consequences if you listen to it. Thus, when the inner critic comes with 5 reasons you can’t do something, give it 10 reasons why you think you can do it.
Be proud of your scars
No matter what life has thrown at you, value your experiences and learn from them. That you survived and made it this far is enough reason to believe in yourself and learn from the past. On that note, don’t hidie your scars, be proud of them and use them as a guide to make your life better.
It’s okay to fail
Failures are normal and even the greatest people on earth have recorded a lot of them. Therefore, there’s no need to feel ashamed or not good enough because you failed, instead, pick yourself up and try again.
You are good enough
Yes, you are enough just the way you are and you shouldn’t let anyone tell you anything different. Work hard to improve yourself because you want to, not because you need to live up to someone’s standard.
Various Ways to Help Someone Believe In Themselves
Here are some suggestions you can leverage to help someone when they are stuck in the ocean of not feeling good enough.
Be a good listener not the judge
Listening to someone will not only make them feel they are worthy but you will get to have good knowledge of what they are passing through. Understanding what they plan to achieve and the efforts made towards those goals help you to inspire them.
Don’t always be the naysayer
Naysayers kill people’s dreams and self-worth, don’t be on that train. Find positive things to say when people tell you about their dreams instead of discouraging them with negative vibes.
Encourage their efforts
Words of encouragement can go a long way in boosting self-worth. Even if someone made mistakes, you can help them make amendments and rebuild with your words of encouragement. Instead of condemning, encourage them to be a better version of themselves.
Applaud the good behaviors
People tend to talk more when you make mistakes than when you actually do something good and this negatively affects self-worth. Try to acknowledge the good things your friends do instead of focusing on the negative part. When you praise someone for something they have done, you boost their confidence, encouraging them to do more. The amazing part of this gesture is that it spreads easily as the person who receives kind words is likely to extend it to other people around, thereby spreading love.
Overall, everybody needs love and spreading it will love will go a long way in making the world a better place. Spread love not envy/hate.